Why do zombies eat brains?

Now for humans!

There’s a ridiculous amount of misinformation floating around concerning the zombie propensity for brains. Misinformation, I might add, that will ultimately serve in killing off all humankind. So once again it falls on me to save the world.

First off I have to address a misnomer in the question. Zombies don’t really “eat” anything, including brains, they simply attack with their mouths. The reasons for the attack will vary, but will never involve consumption.

Zombies attacking brains has nothing to do with nutrition, or a zombie’s want to live again, or taste preference, and it certainly isn’t an invention of Return of the Living Dead. It has everything to do with the type of zombie and the attack motivator.

Viral Zombie (most common): This zombie “eats” brains merely to spread the infection in the fastest possible manner. The dead body is being controlled by a virus that infects through contact and lives in the brain. And it utilizes the most primal and basal functions of the brain to disperse itself through infinite hosts. Simply put, the zombie’s bite is the most efficient way for the virus to initiate an attack, and the brain is the intended target if it is to control the new host. Attacks to other body parts are intended to debilitate the victim and ensure secondary transmission, but the brain will always be the primary goal.

Magic/Alien Zombie: Here the motivation is quite different. The intention of the undead army is to kill, not to infect. Again though, the controller is working with a corpse that has a limited attack capacity. The magician or alien warlord is using the persistent strength of the human mouth to eradicate the enemy, and destroying the brain just happens to be great way to kill the living too. Reasons for body attacks are consistent with the virals.

Radioactive Zombie (extremely rare... for now): The most cryptic of all motivations are those of dead risen by radiation. This is because of all the varying types of zed; these have no true master. The most probable explanation is a crazy-like state caused by rapid deterioration and stimulation of the brain from radiation, resulting in an unexplainable drive to kill. The subsequent brain-lust may be attributed to the fact that the human brain is a virtual kill button, and thus an optimal target of a mobility-challenged revenant.

Whatever the case, a helmet is not going to save you.

Recognize, Revitalize, Actionize.