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2008 Razzie nominees are here
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Worst. Movie. Ever. (Until next year)
Look talking about good movies is great, but talking about the bad ones is just so much more fun. That's why you have to love the The Golden Rasberry Awards or Razzies. The yearly award show the celebrates the worst Hollywood has to offer, and has the audacity to do it on the exact same day as the Oscars themselves. This year had plenty of bad movies (just like most other years), but now that the nominees are out let's take a look at who really deserves to be the worst.
Worst Picture: Speed Racer, Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans, The Day the Earth Stood Still, High School Musical 3, The Hottie & The Nottie, Dungeon Siege, The Love Guru, Postal, Rambo, The Happening, Meet Dave, Witless Protection
My Take: Well I'd take Speed Racer and Rambo off that list automatically since they were my two dirty pleasures of the year, but everything else on there was completely and totally abysmal. What deserves to win though? I have to give it to Paris Hilton and The Hottie and the Nottie. Absolutely terrible in every way possible. Props to Uwe Boll for making the list twice in one year. Very impressive.
Worst Actor: Zac Efron, Dane Cook, Larry the Cable Guy, Eddie Murphy, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Sylvester Stallone, Tom Cruise (Valkyrie), Will Ferrell, Ashton Kutcher, Mike Myers, Adam Sandler, Mark Wahlberg
My Take: Again, how can you say Stallone was bad as Rocky? It doesn't make sense. If you're wondering why Pacino is on there than you really need to check out some of his recent stuff. Not so great. I think I'd toss the award to Eddie Murphy. Not only are his comedic movies flat as a board, but he also blew his chance at being a respectable actor by following up his fantastic Dream Girls performance with crappy comedies.
Worst Actress: Paris Hilton, Jessica Alba, The cast of “The Women,” Camilla Belle, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Diane Keaton, Jennifer Connelly, Zooey Deschanel, Vanessa Hudgens, Eva Longoria-Parker, Reese Witherspoon
My take: Man there are plenty of bad performances to choose from here. While the entire cast of The Women is pretty humorous, I don't think we can blame them all for how bad that movie was. One can however blame Paris Hilton for even attempting to act, so let's go with her in this category.
Worst Screen Couple: Any couple from HSM 3, Cameron Diaz & Ashton Kutcher, Paris Hilton & Joel David Moore, Kate Hudson & Dane Cook, Kate Hudson & Matthew McConaughey, Larry the Cable Guy & Jenny McCarthy, Any couple from Mamma Mia, Eddie Murphy & Eddie Murphy (Meet Dave), Al Pacino & His Hair, Mark Wahlberg & Zooey Deschanel, Mark Wahlberg & Mila Kunis, Sylvester Stallone & His Ego
My take: Man the Razzies are on a hate parade for High School Musical and Stallone. Not that it isn't warranted, but maybe a little harsh. If I had to decide this one seriously the obvious choice would be Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel. The two of them had about as much chemistry as an English classroom in The Happening. However, I think that Al Pacino and his hair might take the cake.
Let's take a break. That's a lot of bad cinema to process. I know I've had a few memories of the past year I wish had been buried. Here, read about some good movies. All right. All refreshed? Let's move on.
Worst Director: Uwe Boll, Scott Derrickson, Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer, Tom Putnam, Marco Schnabel, Sylvester Stallone, Jon Avnet, Diane English, Roland Emmerich, Brian Robbins, Kenny Ortega, M. Night Shyamalan
My take: I'm a big gamer too so my hatred for Uwe Boll trumps anything else. The man not only systematically and mechanically makes bad movies, but they also happen to destroy quality gaming franchises. One would think that after so many bad videogame movies the man would discover some sort of talent in the world of film making, but alas he has none. He deserves the award and a lifetime achievement.
Worst Prequel, Sequel, Remake or Rip-Off: Indiana Jones 4, HSM 3, Rambo, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans, An American Carol, The Women, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Prom Night, Speed Racer, X-Files: I Want To Believe
My take: This one is pretty tough. X-Files was decent, but a major let down. Jones was fun until the end when it shot itself in the face. Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans are just too easy. I think I have to go with Clone Wars simply because it confirmed what I already knew: Star Wars has sold out and it is never coming back.
Worst Career Achievement: Uwe Boll, Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer, Madonna, Keanu Reeves, Sylvester Stallone
My take: Boll. The man made two of the worst movies of the year. How do you even go about doing that?
Well that seems to be all. If you're on the floor right now trying to block out the end of Indiana Jones from your mind or possibly avoiding ever reading the name Uwe again, I don't blame you. What do you think should win? Anything missing?
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