Cook County Chicago - Remembering what is important

November 9, 8:52 AMChicago Cooperative Divorce Law ExaminerJ. Richard Kulerski

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The recent shootings in Texas and Florida and the turmoil in the world often makes people either feel grateful or overwhelmed. Each person's response to adversity is different and depends on his or her experiences and constitution. Emotions run high in times like these.

If you are a person who becomes overwhelmed when bad things are happening around you, focus on what is fundamental right this moment in your life. Being involved in a divorce often heightens our senses to world issues. We feel like everything is happening to us personally even though it is happening to our neighbors. It is good to having feelings about what is happening, but please focus on those who are suffering other than yourself.
 

This Veterans day take some time out of your own life and focus on the lives of others. Focus on the lives of our military that have been given freely in the defense of our country. Focus on the lives of the families of these military men and women who give so much to our country.

Let go of your divorce for one day. Be kind to your soon to be ex spouse in honor of those who have lost their lives to assure the freedoms that you now enjoy. Remember how much worse things can become, instead of how bad they are.

The divorce rate is particularly high right now among military members. They are highly stressed with two wars, not to mention, domestic issues. According to the CDC, 43 percent of all first marriages will end in divorce within 10 years, regardless of military service. However, divorces among soldiers are higher than the average.
 

With such high rates of divorce, it is even more imperative that couples seek out collaborative, friendly divorce for the sake of all the children and individuals involved in these divorces. If we cannot stop divorce, at least we can reduce, and possibly prevent more destruction of future generations, by working toward a friendly collaborative divorce.
 

Even if you do not have children, entering into a friendly, collaborative divorce will be better for your emotional health, not to mention your wallet. Having a collaborative divorce will allow you to get through all the emotional aspects a lot faster than if you had to go to court.
 

Divorcing in a friendly, collaborative approach will save you a lot of money because you will not have an adversarial situation decided by a judge. Once Veterans' Day has passed this year, try to carry with you some of this thankful attitude into your collaborative divorce.
 

Try to focus on what you and your spouse created together in order to focus on the best settlement for the whole family. Putting your attention only on the fact that your divorce is ending a family, can cause you to make unhealthy choices.

Instead, try putting your focus on the outcome of your divorce. Figure out how you can make a bad situation better for your entire family by cooperating and making choices based on facts and figures, not emotions.