Ark of the Covenant still hidden

June 29, 1:49 AMPhiladelphia Atheism ExaminerStaks Rosch

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The Ark of the Covenant

Patriarch Abuna Pauolos, the head of the Ethiopian Orthodox Church stated on Friday that he was planning on revealing the famed Ark of the Covenant to the world. Pauolos claimed that the container which God made to hold the Ten Commandments has been hidden in Ethiopian for thousands of years.

The Ark is hidden in a special chamber of one of the churched in Ethiopia and is protected by a special guardian who is trained to watch over the Ark until the guardian dies and is replaced with a new guardian. Some people claim that the Ark itself is an object of great power and is capable of burning people’s faces off (as seen in the film Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark).

The Ark is also said to contain Manna which is the magic food God gave the Hebrews to sustain them on their 40 year journey to the promise land. Ethiopia is notoriously known for their poverty issues and so it would be almost unconscionable for the Ethiopian Orthodox Church to allow their people to starve to death while they protected the Magic Manna capable of sustaining the people inside their church.

The announcement that the Ark of the Covenant was going to be revealed to the public was something of a surprise considering that it was alleged to be hidden in Ethiopia for 3000 years and no time sensitive or even divine reason was given for its sudden re-emergence. According to Pauolos, the Ark belongs on a museum which has not yet been build.

The details about the Ark’s public appearance were also set to be announced on Friday and since then, no details have been revealed. Some have questioned whether Pauolos was even in a position to bring the Ark into the public light. Others have speculated that that Pope Palpatine vetoed Pauolos’s decision to bring the Ark public. And many others have speculated that the Church fears the scientific analysis of the magic box. Regardless of the reasons, no Ark of the Covenant has been revealed as promised.