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Unsexiest celebrity magazine covers of all time

November 1, 11:05 PM
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Some times celebrities fall victim to really bad ideas brought on by magazine editors, photographers and stylists. Let's take a look at some of the unsexiest magazine covers of all time (according to me at least).

Ciara

For quite some time there was a rumor circulating that Ciara is a hermaphrodite, and this cover does every thing to validate that theory. Since it seems like the only thing the stylist provided her with was a wig and shoes, she gets bonus points for fabulous hair, but the shoes...my goodness...as one commenter put it:
"DEM SHOES IS TOO BROKE FOR WORDS."
The photo would've been less erotic, and more artsy if Ciara was barefoot. But awesome F-me pumps would've made the cover a lot sexier. I cannot begin to put into words how funny this commenter was, but he went on to say:
"She looks like an old a**ed out homeless woman squatin to take a s*** in an alley with dem shoes……you ain't gettin in the club wit dem shoes…..and that one rusty knee could have used some lightening creme before she stepped out the door with it."

Chyna

I'm astonished that this issue wasn't a complete failure. It must have cost "Playboy" a fortune in airbrushing to make former wrestler Chyna look remotely female.

Burt Reynolds
Bear skin rug? Check. Ashtray? Check. Unruly body hair? Check. Is this a bad dream or every woman's fantasy?

Michael Phelps
Because of the heavy/thick straps on the medals, the best parts of Phelps remain covered. Plus, if you look at the medals together, they resemble a halter top--like maybe a gay olympics uniform.

Janet Jackson
This has to be Janet Jackson's most unflattering photo. What happened to her neck?

George Hamilton 
Nothing says sexy like a "Playgirl" cover that looks like "Newport News" catalog. Even years earlier, George Hamilton still looked like a combination of leather and plastic. And are is his teeth really that white, or is it the color contrast of his orange skin. He's been tanning for so many years his internal organs must be a lovely medium-rare by now. The 80s preppy-prep outfit is soooo not hot either. And yuck--that pinky ring is not cute.

David Duchovny
Oh, bonus shot -- teacups over his privates. Ridiculous.

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Author: Charlie Carballo
Charlie Carballo is a National Examiner. You can see Charlie's articles on Charlie's Home Page.
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