Toddler 101: What is parallel play?

July 31, 11:28 PMBaby and Toddler ExaminerDarby Herrington

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  By Darby Herrington

Parallel play is a stage of social development that most commonly occurs during the toddler and pre-school years.

First defined by psychologist Mildred Parten in 1932, parallel play occurs when children participate in the same or similar activity as other children but are absorbed in their own play.  The activity is often side-by-side, with little interaction between them.

For most parents, it is very difficult to understand whether their child's social development is on track due to their own perception of what is appropriate or "acceptable" social activity.  Parents often get embarrassed or frustrated when their child is disinterested in playing with other children - mostly because of the concern that other parents will perceive their child to be different.  However, under most circumstances, solitary or parallel play is perfectly normal.

The reality is that every child develops differently.  Progressing from one stage of social development to the next can be a giant leap for some children.  Parallel play, however, is an effective bridge for children to ease into the more demanding setting of interactive group play.  It is also an indication that a child is developing, but has not yet fully developed certain social skills necessary for interactive play such as cooperation and sharing.

Some developmental stages of play and the ages when they most commonly begin are:

1. Solitary play - 6 months to 18 months;
2. Parallel play - 18 months to 36 months; and
3. Group play (associative or cooperative) - 3 years and up.

Like all developmental guidelines, these are merely approximations.  Parents should not worry if their child is not exactly on the same schedule.  However, if parents do have concerns about whether their child's social development is considered normal, they should speak with their pediatrician.

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