One man, one vote, reveals halfwits in Minnesota U.S. Senate recount

December 28, 1:02 PMSouth St. Paul ExaminerRob Shirk

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Recount official

Let's get everything straight, here. Minnesota had a record turnout of 77.8 per cent of eligible voters last November.

Everybody carries equal weight in our fair democracy. My vote counts no more or less than yours. It is a cornerstone of the American experience and it is painful in what it can reveal.

When an election is decisive, as most of them are, we tend to look around at one another after the returns are in and comment that either we are, collectively, numb-skulls or not for electing the person to that office. Whether you liked it or not, Ronald Reagan swooped in and captured America's hearts as well as their votes and those opposed could only shake their heads, let out a long sigh and hope for the best. There was no argument who won.

Landslide Al Franken and Landslide Norm Coleman are locked in one of the closest elections in history, and as every vote is analyzed, as every absentee ballot is scrutinized, we see how we voted individually, not as the collective wisdom of the common man, envisioned by most of our founding fathers, but as careless, unthinking, clods at the Minnesoa State Fair where the "I'm With Stupid" shirts must have been handed out by the bushel at both the DFL and Republican booths.

You should see these ballots!

Granted, there will always be Little Goof and Big Goof, the ones that live down the street from you or that pea-brain you have to work with. I knew there would be a few. I didn't know there would be thousands. Thousands! We get to view their horrific and imbecilic try at filling out a ballot my dog, if he had thumbs, would be able to fill out. We have been exposed.

At the top of the ladder there are the majority, the well meaning man or woman going about their business in a dignified and thoughtful manner, capable of shopping for groceries or parking the car. This category numbers in the millions. Then we have the other end, incapable of tying their shoes and unable to walk if chewing gum. Astonishing as it may be, there are thousands in this grouping.

So let's just call an automatic runoff if the state or national difference in the election is .05 percent or less. Let's have a "do-over". It would probably be cheaper than what is now taking place in Minnesota and it would spare us the embarrassment that the most literate metropolitan area in the country needs dipsticks to help decide the race for the United States Senate. The blockheads could still vote, of course, we just don't have to be painfully shown in black and white and we can go our merry way. I suppose that will be impossible, now.

In developments Saturday, local election officials have identified 1,350 improperly rejected absentee ballots that the Landslide Al Franken campaign signed off on, accepting the list and letting them be analyzed. There has been no response from the Landslide Norm Coleman camp. If they give the OK this week-end, the process could be wrapped up by next Sunday. If not, well...lets argue some more.