Pizza cone is the latest fast food travesty (with video)

June 9, 8:56 AMKnoxville Healthy Food ExaminerElizabeth Kelly

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It's Pizza! In a cone! (iamdonte, Creative Commons License)

Usually America is to blame for the fat-filled gut bombs we foist on the rest of the world, but this time it's the other way around. Enter the pizza cone, a popular food item in both India and Italy that has now come to the United States, seeking willing receptors for its lard grenade.

The pizza cone is precisely what it sounds like: a cone-shaped hunk of pizza dough made with a machine. The pizza cone is then filled to overflowing with a huge pile of cheese, sauce and stuffed with toppings like pepperoni. While it's being advertised as a food to eat on the go, photos tell a slightly different story, with cones of pizza dripping greasy sauce, and strings of cheese that stretch a foot long after you take a bite.

The Kornet Pizza franchise opened its first US pizza cone store last year at a Kansas City mall, and the chain is itching to open stores all over the country. If there's any doubt that it's an international operation, let their website do the talking (in somewhat awkward English, with random capitalization):

"Kornet Pizza is all about the Originality of pizza in a cone, the Convenience of quality eating on-the-go, the Healthiness of all-natural ingredients and the Authenticity of true Italian pizza dough. Our pizza recipes are elaborated with respect to the Neapolitan pizza making tradition and with passion for innovation. Each store is like a family kitchen where pizza dough is prepared as if kneaded by our grandmothers. Our toppings are fresh and tasty, combined in infinite possibilities for giving you the best pizza experience...in a cone.Kornet Pizza. Now in Franchise."

India's version of the pizza cone is the Conizza, served at the popular Pizza Corner chain with decidely Indian topping choices. The Conizza pizza cone comes in vegetarian options (Spicy Veggie, Mushroom & Corn and Paneer Tikka) or meat flavors (Chicken Sausage, Chicken Tikka and Keema Conizza).

If there's any doubt that people get excited over cone-shaped pizza, you can check out the sheer elation in this Conizza advertisement from India. Only actors from the land of Bollywood could feign so much joy (and create such infectious music) in tribute to a pizza in a cone.

Why should I be worried about pizza in a cone becoming the next US fast food trend? Because Americans, who are incidentally becoming increasingly more and more obese, don't know where to stop. Once we open the door to pizza cones, chains will compete for having the biggest cone at the cheapest price.

This is America! We demand bigger pizza cones! (Demelza van der Lans, CC License)

Eventually, the pizza will be piled into a holder the size of a traffic cone, with cheese baked right into the crust, and a regular-sized cone of butter sauce to dip it in. Toppings will include ranch dressing, whole strips of bacon, giant meatballs, and a deep-fried turkey. Perhaps I exaggerate slightly, but I'm telling the truth when I tell you that plans are already in order to manufacture a frozen pizza cone to sell at the grocery.

While I'm normally one to tell you that a healthy diet can include anything in moderation, I may just have to draw the line at a cone filled with cheese. My advice? Shun the cone.

-Liz Kelly

Think your fancy-schmancy gourmet pizza is much better? This article tells you why you should fear it, with tips on how to eat pizza more healthfully.