Thanksgiving’s over… time to weapon up for the war on Christmas

November 28, 4:32 PMStrange News ExaminerJ. Doug Gill

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Now that Americans are full of both turkey and thankfulness, it’s time to get back to the annual solstice business of hating on each other for celebrating (or not) Christmas.

Last week, Florida Gulf Coast University fired one of 2008’s first salvos when the school’s administration banned all holiday decorations from campus common areas and cancelled an annual greeting card contest. The card contest was replaced by something called the ‘ugly sweater competition.’

Aren’t Christmas sweaters among the ugliest garments ever sewn?

Anyway, the anti-Christmas combatants at FGCU sealed the deal with the renaming of the university’s “giving tree” (a program for needy preschoolers) which is now called a “giving garden.”

Additionally, you have the state of Wisconsin using its fire code (combustible vegetation is not allowed in areas where people assemble) to keep Christmas trees out of churches, and the city of Denver allowing churches to sell pumpkins at Halloween but not trees at Christmas.

The Liberty Counsel - warriors on the pro side of Christmastide - is out with their annual Naughty and Nice list, helping consumers determine which retailers to patronize based on their use of the “C word” in catalogs and store displays.

The naughty retailers – those the LC has singled out for profiting from Christmas without recognizing the reason for the season – include such notables as Costco, Banana Republic, Sears, CVS, Home Depot, Old Navy and Lowe’s.

And the nice retailers – those whose marketing ploys keep the Christ in Christmas - include Best Buy, JC Penney, KB Toys, LL Bean, Macy’s and Wal-Mart.

And naturally, any corporation that uses the word Christmas in their promotion materials must surely be a saint among the business world’s sinners. 

For those of us who choose not to wade into this war – and specifically for those of us forced to feel as if we hate Jesus just because we exchange the occasional ‘season’s greetings’ or ‘happy holidays,’ there is a website that helps separate the nuts from the fruitcake.

Defend Christmas – which is nowhere near as pro-Yule as the name implies – has made it their mission to “referee the passionate-though-misguided combatants in the War on Christmas… and be a voice of reason for both sides of the debate and serve to provide simple reminders of “peace on earth, goodwill to all men.”

In fact, Defend Christmas contends that the so-called war on the holiday is driven by media hype, and that both sides of this debate have it all wrong.

Even Bill O’Reilly – one of the generals on the Merry Christmas side – seems to have cut and run. The O’Reilly website promises shoppers in the “O’Reilly Store” a free bumper sticker that reads “We Say Merry Christmas” with a book purchase.

The notice of the gratis sticker sits prominently under a banner that reads, “See our HOLIDAY shipping deadlines.”

Hmmm… pinhead or patriot?

And by the way: if your shopping takes you to Wal-Mart, be sure to have the blue-vested staff pass along “Merry Christmas” wishes to the company’s vast pool of Chinese slave laborers.