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A rose by any other name.....
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Goblin Cock, saviors of metal.....
From time to time, I would like to take the liberty to discuss a band which is not local to the South Bay. It may be a rare thing, but I can promise that it will be worth it when I do. Really. I promise.
That suffices for my disclaimer. Well…..sort of. The rest of it goes something like this:
The following write-up may contain words, phrases, ideas, or combinations thereof which just might be mildly offensive to some, regardless of how funny it may be. Read on at your own risk. You have been warned and I assume no more responsibility for your delicate sensibilities from this point forward.
Ok.
While wandering somewhat aimlessly in my local Big Box Electronic Store (whose initials happen to be “BB”), I was in the G section of the Rock CDs when my eyes happened to fall upon a particular bit of cover art. Peering closer, I saw the band’s name and had to do a double take. Then I was compelled to pick up the CD itself because I was not entirely sure what I saw was entirely accurate.
What possible band name could make me doubt what I saw and then laugh, giggle, and shake my head in amusement?
That is the name of the band. Goblin Cock. What a completely awesome name for a band. Goblin Cock. These were obviously people with a great sense of twisted humor. Goblin Cock. Why do I keep saying it here? Because I want to see how many times I can get away with writing “Goblin Cock” on a national news site. Goblin Cock.
GOBLIN COCK - "We've Got A Bleeder" Music Video - Director Matt Hoyt from Matt Hoyt - Wormwood Films on Vimeo.
Goblin Cock hails from San Diego, so no, they are not local to the South Bay. The brainchild of Rob Crow from the San Diego indie band Pinback, Goblin Cock’s brand of music has been labeled “stoner rock”, “stoner metal”, “doom metal”, and “drone metal”. I am not quite sure how Goblin Cock warranted these terms. Perhaps it is because they perform entirely swathed in Druidic robes with faces behind black netting masks? Or maybe it is because Rob – as his G.C. alter-ego of Lord Phallus – writes songs about Sesame Street’s Snuffaluffagus, Kegrah the Dragon Killer, and The Werewomb, interweaving such subjects with Black Sabbath-like guitars and mesmerizing vocals?
Whatever the reason, I find those labels rather limiting. Goblin Cock is so much more than that. Crow, ahem, Lord Phallus, and his band mates have created something closer to Queens of the Stone Age and Eagles of Death Metal…..something that grooves and rocks and imbeds itself into your brain, the poetic-rock possibilities hidden deep under the admittedly comical band name. Goblin Cock. That makes 14 times I have gotten away with writing it now.
Goblin Cock’s credo (from their MySpace page) is as follows: “Goblin Cock is a band from beyond time, beyond space, beyond your naive concept of dimension in METAL. Since before your pathetic "god" had supposedly "created" you and your kind, Lord Phallus was hunkered in a cybertimeship/fun dungeon skating the layers of what was considered "true metal" in all societies and in all generations. Eventually His Majesty realized that he really didn’t care and launched a full-scale war against bland metal with an emphasis on ACTUALLY HAVING A GOOD TIME!”
And they do. And they rock.
I don’t think I have enough room to give an adequate description or proper review of Goblin Cock (17…..); they must be heard to be truly appreciated. You can bet when they do make it to the Bay Area, I am definitely fighting my way to the front row.
Goblin Cock.
As something of a postscript: After I finished writing this, I discovered that Goblin Cock had already travelled through the Bay Area in early February. Bummer. We will all have to simply wait and watch tro see when and if they make it back around. Go to http://www.functionbad.com/robcrow/ for up-to-date news and tour dates.
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