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Trade-happy Cleveland Indians look to deal Slider
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With all the trades the Indians have made the past few seasons, could Slider be next?
On the heels of the blockbuster Cliff Lee trade, the Indians are eying another deal, this time involving the team’s mascot Slider.
The proposed trade would send Slider to the Milwaukee Brewers for Sausage #4 from the team’s famed Sausage Races along with a mascot to be named later.
Sausage #4, named Frankie Furter, is having a career year with seven race wins already in this young season. But his racing has been erratic in past years and there’s hope that the Indians coaching staff can mold him into a top-tier mascot like they did with Slider.
The veteran Slider is nearing the end of his contract and it’s feared the Indians won’t be able to resign the pricey free agent to an extension. He’s been with team since 1990 and is expected to demand more props and gags than the team is willing to match.
For the mascot to be named later, the Indians have already expressed interest in Manny the Manatee of the Brevard County Manatees. Manny's a rising star in the Brewers farm system with lots of potential but he needs to work on his “hamming it up” skills. If traded, expect an extended stay in the minors as he will need to adapt to Lake Erie waters.
Milwaukee’s veteran mascot Bernie Brewer did not offer a comment on the trade but he did give two enthusiastic oversized thumbs up and then jumped down his slide.
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Obviously I hope readers realize that this article is meant to be a joke, kind of like the Indians bullpen this season. As fans, I think we all get frustrated seeing our favorite players being traded away for more prospects. But rest assured, Slider is safe (for now!).
However, fan favorites CC Sabathia, Coco Crisp and Casey Blake were all dealt for minor leaguers. Grizzled veterans like Paul Byrd and Mark DeRosa (who Manager Eric Wedge would describe as “ballplayers in every sense of the word”) also were sent packing for seemingly very little in return.
Cliff Lee is gone and Victor Martinez could be next. Teams will be dangling more minor-league carrots in front of Mark Shapiro for Martinez.
The Tribe could not afford to resign players like Manny Ramirez and Jim Thome. Both left town and the Indians received nothing in return. This is the curse of a Mid-market team; if you think you can’t resign a star player, you have to trade him before his contract is up. But the Lee trade is just absurd.
The blame lies squarely with Shapiro. The Indians would’ve had more room to sign Sabathia last year or resign Lee and Martinez at the end of next season if Shapiro hadn’t overpaid duds like Travis Hafner, Jake Westbrook, and Kerry Wood. Those three players make up almost 40% of the Indians payroll in 2009. Their inflated salaries have resulted in the Indians losing two Cy Young Award winners. Sad.
So with another season lost, the only question left is "who's next?" But don’t worry; at least Slider will still be hamming it up at Progressive Field. Although, Frankie Furter does have a lot of potential. Hmmm, maybe the Tribe should consider that trade after all….
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