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Angels on parade: Grown men in drag behaving like idiots
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Bill Plunkett reports at the OCRegister.com that seven Angels’ rookies had their clothes confiscated at the conclusion of the Oakland series and were forced to wear women’s clothing for the trip to Arlington, Texas. In a classic double entendre lead, Plunkett calls it “one of the ugliest traditions in baseball.” I wholeheartedly agree on the ugliness aspect, though I’m not sure if Plunkett has any deep reservations to the hazing.
Among the sordid details, Plunkett reported that Matt Brown, 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, was decked out in a “Sporty Spice” ensemble, accentuated with a short skirt. Sean Rodriguez and Freddy Sandoval masqueraded as Hooters’ girls, while Kevin Jespen modeled a “snappy blouse-and-skirt combo.” And no doubt Darren O’Day’s teammates found him adorable in a purple mini-dress, which no doubt highlighted his 6-4 frame. Not a pretty site for sure.
Maybe I’m becoming Ned Flanders in my rapidly approaching old age, but this latest ugly baseball hazing makes me ill. What kind of grown men get their kicks by forcing other grown men to stuff their over-sized bodies into tight women’s clothing?
If some of the Angels foster homoerotic fantasies, that’s their business. And what they do in private is their own business. But for God’s sake, please don’t make the general public suffer the sight of your fantasies on parade.
The pranks were obviously carried out with manager Mike Scioscia’s unspoken blessing. No doubt he was on both ends when he played big league ball. What a wonderful tradition: Baseball, apple pie and drag queens.
After all, homoeroticism in baseball has a long tradition. After reading the groundbreaking Ball Four by former Yankees’ pitcher Jim Bouton, it’s obvious that many baseball players have a lot of unanswered sexual issues. It appears nothing has changed.
I have no problems with light hazing. Robin Ventura, then a veteran on the White Sox, was the ringleader in a gag that had Sox rookies wearing Superhero costumes on a cross-country flight. But I guess Batman and Superman costumes aren’t as sexually stimulating to the Angels’ players and coaching staff.
Earlier this season the White Sox came under fire by some media do-gooders after players displayed two blowup dolls in sexually suggestive positions in their clubhouse in Toronto. Again, I have no problems with that kind of behavior within the confines of the team’s clubhouse. But the pranks get out of hand when executed in public—especially on an airline flight.
What possible harm can come of such innocent high jinx? Do a Google search and you’ll find an epidemic of hazing stories at the high school level, a lot of them related to sports rituals. A Sports Illustrated article from 2003, “A Rite Gone Terribly Wrong,” details the grotesque and Neanderthal hazing that occurred at a high school football camp. The ringleaders forced underclassmen to sodomize one another with a broomstick that had been dipped in a burning ointment. It’s not a stretch to conclude that when teens see their sports heroes humiliating their own teammates, they view it as a rite of passage and then take it to a sadistic level. Suddenly, the locker rooms and dorms become a cultural meltdown worthy of Lord of the Flies.
Maybe I wouldn’t mind the Angels’ rookie hazing so much if the perpetrators had the guts to stand up and admit, “I thoroughly enjoy the site of buffed grown men in drag, and I also enjoy humiliating my teammates in public.” But I won’t hold my breath waiting for that to happen.
My advice to the Angels man-children would be to grow up. And I would advise Scioscia to display some class and common sense and end the annual ritual. I can’t imagine that his boss, Arte Moreno, is too happy on how the hazing clashes with the family-friendly atmosphere he’s trying to sell at Angels’ Stadium.
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