Busted flat in Baton Rouge

My husband called on Friday around 3, as I was online trying to unearth some new freelance work. I'm a writer. I work from home so I can tend to our four small children. Daycare is cost-prohibitive when you have four kids in four years.

"What's up, stalker?" I asked. He'd called twice in a row when I didn't answer right away.

"I love you," he said, his inflection rising in a clear comma, the barest hint of what was to come. "I got fired."

*****

The U.S. unemployment rate rose again last month, hitting 5.7 percent by the end of July, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. By July 31, 8.8 million people in the U.S. were unemployed – a 1 percent increase since July 2007. Rapidly rising unemployment, food and fuel prices combine with the mortgage foreclosure crisis to create an economic avalanche.

Were it not for our health insurance situation, I would feel okay about this. Calm. Zen. We got a quote on COBRA coverage and it will cost more than my husband's monthly unemployment benefit. We are lucky; we have coverage through the end of August, so I can scramble to figure out the state Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) for the kids and hope their coverage is seamless. My husband and I will have to do without. This makes my mother nervous. "Try to make it work, honey," she urges. "It would just take one car accident to wipe you out financially."

But a car accident – fingers crossed – might not happen. The cost of COBRA is a certainty, there in bold red numerals. COBRA, the mortgage, or groceries? How to spend that last paycheck?

*****

Kaiser Commission on Medicaid and the Uninsured projects that a 1 percent rise in the unemployment rate, like the one we've seen in the last 12 months, increases the number of uninsured by one million. Because of eligibility limitations and the high cost, only 7 percent of unemployed adults elect to purchase COBRA coverage, according to Medscape from WebMD. A larger percentage of these people are those with incomes above 300 percent of the poverty level; people closer to poverty level cannot manage the cost, even with state subsidies and tax credits.

The poverty level for a family of six is an annual gross income of $28,400. That is an eye-opener. We hover well above that, but solidly in the demographic that cannot afford COBRA. We have $125 in our savings account, so government subsidies and tax credits would not help us, even if they were available. We'd need that money up front.

Further muddying the waters is my freelance work. Some months I make $2,000. Other months, this one for example, I don't make anything. I worry that my fatter months in the beginning of the year will affect the benefits we can collect, even as my leaner months gnaw at our stomachs. The kids have to qualify for SCHIP. We have to qualify for WIC and free school lunches. Otherwise groceries are the only thing the unemployment checks will buy.

*****

"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose," sang Janis Joplin. That song has been stuck in my head since Friday. I am lucky – I have a lot left to lose. But there is an uncertain exhilaration in living a suspense story. I can't imagine what will come next. If I don't let myself think about the details, the risks of foregoing insurance and the possibility that the next job may not pay enough to cover the bills, it is exciting. Maybe we will relocate! Maybe things will work out just fine! Maybe they won't. But we aren't going through this alone – families all over the country are trying to figure this out along with us – and I take a shameful comfort in that.

Topics: unemployment , careers