Culturally correct: How to behave like a local in England

June 9, 3:17 PMLA Travel ExaminerJane Lasky

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Waiting to change but on guard

I remember the first time I rode the London Underground during the evening rush hour. As a veteran of the rough-and-tumble world of the New York City subway system, I prepared for the worst when I stepped up onto the train with the other sardines at the Piccadilly stop.

Once steadied, I clutched my purse to my chest, clenched my teeth and made a mental note to hang in there. That stance lasted only one tube stop. The first time the train lurched to a standstill I was taken aback. Dozens upon dozens of passengers silently nudged by me to get out.

Unfortunately, even though there was no overt pushing and shoving, I was so astonished at the sheer numbers of people trying to get by me and get off in time that I lost my footing and started to fall.

To my great surprise, the elderly woman standing next to me took my arm and helped me remain upright just in time to avert disaster. I can not imagine that act of kindness ever happening on the Lexington Avenue line at the end of a long Manhattan work day.

Ditto a surprisingly civilized ride on a crowded double-decker bus in London during the early and very groovy 1970s. Not knowing the city very well, I found a seat up top so I could have a better shot at spotting my stop. It came sooner than expected and I rushed forward to get off, grabbing the pole by the upper exit only to swing around it and almost fall down the stairs.

Actually, I would have were it not for the kindness of the official money changer who took my arm, made sure I was steady and then guided me down and out of the bus. As I turned to thank him, he just winked and said in a thick North London accent voice, "Right on,  sister."

How did he know I was American?

I guess this was obvious, even though I thought I blended in since my heritage is half British.

Didn't help, apparenly. I gues it was the way I was dressed, the way I carried myself, the way I was such a klutz on the bus.

During that trip to London and the many dozens of trips I have made since, I have noted how polite a British person can be, even in the most savage of situations. Consider the following:

* If someone is standing in line -- or as they put it in England, in the queue - that person would never try to get ahead of anyone else. Butting in is tantamount to an unwritten misdemeanor on the other side of the Pond. Everyone waits his or her turn no matter how long that person has to stand there.

* Looking at someone with whom you are speaking should be different from staring. It is polite to gaze at another person during conversation, but looking too long is considered repugnant by a proper British subject.

* Forget eavesdropping. Even if the pastime is possible (unusual since most British people speak in hushed tones in public), listening in on other people's private conversations is considered terribly gauche in England.

* Don't get physical. Showing affection to your British counterpart by putting your arm around him or her or slapping that person on the back is not done in this demure country where colleagues and acquaintances keeps their hands to themselves.

* Save your knuckle-crunching handshakes for American business ventures. In England, the right way to greet another person is with a relatively weak handshake so leave your hearty shake back in the U.S.A.

* Women should cross their legs in public, but they should do so at the ankle, not at the knees.