Fat is where it's at with summer TV's 'Dance Your Ass Off' & more, is a Kirstie Alley comeback next?

June 28, 12:56 PMNashville Entertainment ExaminerJonathan Pinkerton

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Marissa Jaret Winokur of Dance Your Ass Off/Oxygen

When television began, it was an idealized version of real life.  Let's face it, my mom didn't twirl around the kitchen in a smart cocktail dress and pearls, well, sometimes she did, but that's beside the point.  Early television was idealized, yes, but based on reality.  In recent years, the actors seem to have gotten more glamorous and with the exception of the occasional bumbling oaf, thinner.  While TV characters have gotten smaller, the population of the US as a whole has gotten bigger.  The average adult woman in the US is now a size 14.  The average man tips the scales just below 200 pounds.  

Perhaps taking a cue from statistics such as these, or, as I like to think, from self-proclaimed Fat Actress, Kirstie Alley, TV is getting bigger than ever, and I'm not talking the size of your flat panel wall-mount.  If a look at this summer's new television line-up is any indication, I guess the old adage "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" is true. 

Up first we have Oxygen's new So You Think You Can Dance/Biggest Loser hybrid, Dance Your Ass Off.  Yes, that's the show's title, but being the classy network they are, they substitute the A-word with asterisks and such.  Would you expect anything less from the network that brought us Tori and Dean, Fight Girls, The Bad Girls Club, Mo'Nique's Fat Chance and the train-wreck that is Janice Dickinson?

In a decidedly I've got nothing better going on in my career move, Tony award winner Marissa Jaret Winokur, who originated the role of Tracy Turblad on Broadway in Hairspray, the musical, has signed on as host of the jiggle-fest.  Winokur, who was overlooked by casting directors of the movie version of Hairspray, is apparently qualified to host because she is fat and can dance.  Having proven the later as she danced her way into the semi-finals on Dancing With The Stars during the show's sixth season.   Dance Your Ass Off's promos entice the viewer by proclaiming, "12 contestants, 3000 pounds, $100,000, 1 winner."  They further push the joke by calling the show the "biggest dance competition ever."  

The contestant bios offered on Oxygen's website do little more than give you their names: Alicia, Angela, Brandon, Karla, Mara, Miles, Pinky, Ruben, Shayla, Tara, Trice and Warren. While some of their bios offer glimpses of insight, such as careers and family details, mostly they are all fat and want to slim down.  Even though the judges names have not been revealed, rumor has it Mayte, the dancer/choreographer formerly known the wife of Pop Icon, Prince, will be on the judges panel.  Tune in tomorrow, Monday, June 28 at 10/9 central to see if Dance Your Ass Off is the next Biggest Loser, or just a big fat loser.

Brooke Elliott and Margaret Cho/Lifetime

I think I'll save my fat intake for Lifetime's big summer offering, Drop Dead Diva.  It is basically the same premise as any number of recent judging a book by its cover movies, such as Shallow Hal, Nutty Professor, or on the small screen, even Friends' Fat Monica flashbacks.  While Lifetime touts the show by declaring it, "Lifetime's spirited new comedic drama series that puts a uniquely compelling twist on the age-old battle between brains and beauty."  It is really little more than the flimsy plot of a skinny jerk of a model named Deb (Brooke D'Orsay) who dies in a car wreck and is stopped at heaven's gate by a guy named Fred--I'm guessing Saint Peter was otherwise occupied. Fred (played by Ben Feldman, who co-starred as Fran Drescher's son on the short-lived WB comedy Living with Fran) then pronounces she must return to earth to right her wrongs.  In a mix-up, she returns to earth in a different person's body--you guessed it, a fat girl, a lawyer named Jane Bingum.  Another Broooke, actress Brooke Elliott stars as Jane.  Elliott's previous acting credits are a single 2005 appearance on the now defunct Law & Order: Trial By Jury, as a screen credit as Woman in Pink in the Mel Gibson movie What Women Want.  Jackson Hurts plays Deb's former fling who now works with Jane/Deb. I'm sure both Brookes are fine actresses, but it's Margaret Cho as her assistant, who will no doubt steal the show.  Margaret was most recently seen in a very funny cameo in the pilot episode of my pal Del Shores' Sordid Lives: The Series. The stand-up comedian/actress also tried her hand at reality TV on VH1's reality/sitcom, The Cho Show.  She is one of the funniest women in Hollywood and I'm thrilled she will be showcased in Drop Dead Diva.  Margaret will also be debuting her new one-woman comedy concert, Beautiful on Showtime on July 3 @ 11/10 central.    

Luke Conley is looking for More to Love/FOX

So far we have a weigh-loss show and a dramedy about seeing life through someone else's fat.  So that leaves us with the third summer entry in the fat is where it's at category, Fox's reality-dating show, More to Love, which debuts Tuesday, July 28 @ 9/8 central. More to Love is basically The Fat Bachelor.  That's not a slam, taking into consideration the show is executive produced by Mike Fleiss, who is part of the team who produce ABC's inexplicably popular The Bachelor and its sister show, The Bachelorette.  Plus-size model and TV spokesperson, Emme will play host to the bulky bachelor and his bevy of big beauties.  Instead of a bachelor with leading man good looks and a family pedigree like Andrew Firestone, Charlie O'Connell or Nashville's own Dr. Travis Stork, we are introduced to 26 year-old 300 pound Luke Conley, a subcontractor and real estate investor from California.  According to Luke, his ideal woman is "intelligent, passionate, down-to-earth, full-figured and comfortable in her own skin."  Kirstie, are you listening? Play your cards right and a new reality show with you and Luke could literally squash Jon and Kate.  Kirstie and Luke: Love's Big Fluke.  What do you think? One final note: I had to laugh when I visited Fox's website to get a few details for this article and the banner ad for More to Love was for McDonalds.