My imaginary transcript of the phone conversation between Sgt. James Crowley and President Obama

July 24, 4:53 PMPolitical Buzz ExaminerRyan Witt

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  President Obama called Sgt. Crowley today.  AP Photo Ron Edmonds

Everyone wants to know the details of the convo between Sgt. James Crowley and President Obama but we likely will never see a full transcript.  So in my attempt at comedy I give you my version of how I think the conversation went.

Sgt. Crowley:  Hello this James.

President Obama:  Hello Sgt. Crowley this is Barack Obama the President of the United States.

Sgt. Crowley:  Oh that is funny.  Nice one. Really who is this?

President Obama:  Really Sergeant it is me you are talking to the man from the White House.

Sgt. Crowley:  Hmmm.  I have to be sure could you fax me over some identification please.

President Obama:  NO I WILL NOT!

Sgt. Crowley:  Sir how am I suppose to believe this is really you.

President Obama:  Is this how a black President gets treated in America?  Would you be asking President Bush for some identification?

Sgt. Crowley:  Sir is there anyone else with you to confirm this?

Head of the National Security Agency grabs the phone

NSA Chief:  Sgt. Crowley this is the head of the National Security Agency here with the President.  We are currently monitoring your internet use as part of an ongoing secret program to catch suspected terrorists.  From what I can see when you answered the phone you were watching youtube clips of Reno 911.  Is that correct?

Sgt. Crowley:  Holy crap it is the President let me talk to him.

President Obama:  Hello Sgt. Crowley I just wanted to contact you and apologize for my choice of words the other day.  I still think you screwed the pooch in arresting a leading African-American Studies Professor from Harvard at his own home but I should not have said that to the press.

Sgt. Crowley:  I understand Mr. President.  After all you really screwed yourself over by bringing attention to race-based story while your health care reform is stalled in the Senate.  Smooth move there.

President Obama:  Yes I know.  Listen can I just tell the press I talked to you and that we had a nice conversation.  I will even have you over to the White House later for some beer.  We can watch the White Sox game.

Sgt. Crowley:  Sure thing.  As long as you tell the press to get off my G*d D*mn lawn and as long we can watch a Red Sox game instead of the White Sox.

President Obama:  Sounds good, oh and by the way I may invite Professor Gates over as well.

Sgt. Crowley:  That will be good so he can apologize to me for his behavior.

President Obama:  Uh....yea...we'll see.  Talk later goodbye sergeant.

Sgt. Crowley:  Goodbye Mr. President.