Happy Towel Day to hoopy Hitchhiker froods everywhere: this Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is for you

May 25, 6:43 PMBook ExaminerMichelle Kerns

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May 25th is a High Holy Day for Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy fans: it's Towel Day, the annual celebration of the life and work of the hoopiest frood of all, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy creator Douglas Adams.

After writing five books in the increasingly inaccurately named Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy (all based on the original BBC radio production of the same name) -- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; The Restaurant at the End of the Universe; Life, the Universe, and Everything; So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish; and Mostly Harmless -- Mr. Adams died unexpectedly on May 11th, 2001. Enthusiasts everywhere celebrated the first Towel Day two weeks after Mr. Adams' death, on May 25th, by carrying their trusty towels with them all day long.

Since that original demonstration of Hitchhiker devotion, Towel Day has been celebrated on May 25th every year, with enthusiasts across the globe proudly carrying and displaying their towels, bandying Hitchhiker trivia and quotes across the internet with fellow Terran Hitchhikers, and drinking themselves silly in true Zaphod Beeblebrox fashion on Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters (more on that later).

Those uninitiated in Hitchhiker lore may be puzzled by the fixation with towels. Why a towel? Well, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels:

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Krakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it around your head to ward off the noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal....You can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc.,etc...What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Hence a phrase that has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in 'Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is.'

 

Of course, for us seriously devout Hitchhiker fans, knowing the location of our towel is a matter of course; it's the annual Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster drinking binge that is our way of commemorating Towel Day.

According to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is the best drink in existence, was created by Zaphod Beeblebrox, and "is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick." In The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, it is described as being "the alcoholic equivalent of a mugging -- expensive and bad for the head."

There are about as many Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster recipes in existence as Marvin has complaints; here is my favorite:

To make a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster using Terran ingredients:

                  Towels are nice...but sometimes, thongs are better

In Life, the Universe, and Everything, Zaphod Beeblebrox helpfully demonstrates the correct way to enjoy alcoholic beverages of all types:

He drained [his drink] quickly before anything serious happened to it. He then had another quick one to follow the first one down and check that it was all right....He sent a third drink down to see why the second hadn't yet reported on the condition of the first....He poured a drink down his other throat with the plan that it would head the previous one off at the pass, join forces with it, and together they would get the second to pull itself together. Then all three would go off in search of the first, give it a good talking to.

He felt uncertain as to whether the fourth drink had understood all that so he sent down a fifth to explain the plan more fully and a sixth for moral support.

Late last year, Hitchhiker fans received some unexpected news: a sixth book in the increasingly inaccurately named Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy would be released in October of 2009. Douglas Adams' widow asked Artemis Fowl author, Eoin Colfer, to continue the series with the book, And Another Thing.... This news has been received by Hitchhiker fans with an enthusiasm that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike their reception of a Vogon poetry reading. I find this reaction puzzling. Frankly, I look forward to Mr. Colfer's installment with delight and guarantee I will be first in line to purchase it when it is released in October. For more information about And Another Thing...cast your gaze here.

Huzzah to hoopy Hitchhiker fans everywhere! I wave my towel to you.

     Mr. Douglas Adams: March 11, 1952 - May 11, 2001: So long, and thanks for all the fish.

While the Hitchhiker radio productions and books were outstanding (the series ranks #19 on my list of all-time favorite books), the movie has the dubious distinction of being on my list of Worst Book to Movie Adaptations ever. Take a look at the list here, along with the five best book to movie adaptations and ponderings on just what makes a great bookish movie, anyway.