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Trying way too hard - New Madonna photo reveals her Hard Candy is no Britney Spears

January 22, 3:17 AMPop Culture ExaminerDominic Patten
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Let’s not pretend, let's not mince words - someone needs to tell Madonna that she's pushing herself well past her sell date.

In the UK, they call Madge an "old slapper" and that's just in polite company. In the US, we're too star struck to tell the Empress she's wearing no clothes, or rather that the clothes she is wearing are totally not age appropriate. 

Even more than her spread eagle Louis Vuitton ad campaign, newly leaked pictures of Madonna, taken last year as promos for her Hard Candy album, makes that disturbingly clear. And its time she took a real look in the mirror, cause what was once sexy has become sad.

 

Click here for more on Madonna raunchy Louis Vuitton ad campaign.

With a stern face that could launch a 1,000 Botox needles and a weirdly mangled and shorten arm, for the first time in her long career, the former Mrs. Ritchie looks thoroughly uncomfortable. Maybe its the laced up leather boots, maybe its the yanked up thong or the broken wrist wraps or maybe its the unmistakable smell of desperation, but this is not Madonna reinventing herself. This is Madonna corseting and contorting herself into the fetishism of embarrassment.

This is on the heels of Borat star Sacha Baron Cohen being booed at the Golden Globes for mocking Madonna's recent divorce from director Guy Ritchie.

Check out Sascha Baron Cohen on Madonna at the Golden Globes here

 

Now, the perpetually attention seeking Madge has left striking the pose of the erotic behind for the sad posturing of a surgically flawed third-rate showgirl, and I like third-rate showgirls. The admittedly very physically fit Madonna, who is probably in better shape now than she was in the 1979 nude of her that is  about to be auctioned off at Christies, needs to stop competing with the Britney Sprears and the Rihannas.  She needs to stop because it's pathetic. Don't even try to get in the ring with new ingénue on the charts Taylor Swift, Madonna, because someone who can write her own songs and sing them will knock you out. You need to stop because, and I say this as a long time critic, it is beneath you and your not yet exhausted talent.

 

Check out Britney Spears’ toned tour look here

 

C'mon Madonna, you should be the Queen Bee. You should be leading the kids and the superstars who grew up with posters of you on their bedroom walls, not imitating them. You should take a teaspoon of the survival skills of Marianne Faithfull, a bit of the hardness of Bettye LaVette, the soaring sass of Dolly Parton and Mary J. Blige and the flawless endurance of Blondie's Debbie Harry and you could take pop music to a masterful maturity that its never known before. Its a hard road but in Hollywood, actresses like Meryl Streep and Susan Sarandon have chipped away at the stone of ageism and shown that older women don't have to compete with the younger generation, they can find voices and roles that speak of who they are.

 

That would like way better on you than those boots ... and you know it.

 

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