RSS
Home
The 10 grossest ear scenes in film
Print
Email
RSS
Subscribe
.jpg)
The original masters of ear torture... Larry, Moe and Curly...
So how much pressure does it take to pull off a human ear? Wiki-Answers says: "Depending on the sharpness of the blade, the ear is easily removed with little pressure. There are no bones or other problems with removal. A child could easily remove an ear with a common steak knife." Which just might be invaluable information if you're worried that your child has the capabilities of tugging his own ears off his head. According to the experts though it takes just 7 lbs. of solid pressure to tug off the average human ear. Which leads me to the next obvious question concerning ear removal and pounds of pressure: Just how many pounds per square inch of pressure does Mike Tyson have in his bite? I'm afraid that he, like his watery kin the Great White Shark, is just too dangerous to get an accurate reading from.... The hard truth is that we may never know...
Concerning the 10 grossest ear scenes in film. Believe me there are not many - or as many as you would think. There are no websites devoted to gross ear scenes. No actual lists exist on the world-wide web. I might have made it a bit easier on myself by going with the "eye" instead of the "ear" when compiling a list like this - but I didn't.
My first encounter with a disgusting ear scene was in Alan Parker's Midnight Express where Billy Hayes bites off some guy's ear in a prison yard fight. This scene was the template for all extremely gross ear scenes to come. It has it's imitators, and I've taken the liberty of listing my favorite one here. So let's get on with this nonsense - prepare yourself for the 10 grossest ear EVER! (please keep in mind I linked Youtube videos when they were available, but because this is a topic that no one else has ever tackled before now, there really weren't as many videos as I would have liked)
10) Blue Velvet- Ear Ants!- While walking home from the local hospital Kyle MacLachlan finds a severed human ear lying in a nearby field. This odd event sets off this David Lynch mystery/thriller/theatrical-oddity into areas still pretty much unknown... Why's it Gross? The ear was full of ANTS! ANTS of all things! ANTS! Here's The Video - (the scene happens at the 5:45 mark if you need to skip ahead...)
9) Heartbreak Ridge- Sudden Earring Removal!- Clint Eastwood has always been a badass. I'm sure he was badass as an infant. He was badass throughout his adult life. And he's recently become a baddass senior citizen. Look up the word "Badass" in the dictionary and you'll find that he's tore the page out because he's that big of a badass. In his 1986 film Heartbreak Ridge he may have played his biggest badass role ever as Gunnery Sergeant Tom Highway. When Highway catches one of his Marines with an earing in his ear, (Mario Van Peebles) he rids the military of the jewelry in the most efficient manner he knows how. Why's it Gross? I have a thing for jewelry yanking. Well not for it exactly, I'm most definitely against it. Here's The Video
8) Wild Wild West- Public Ear Cleaning!- Ted Levine has always been capable of giving an audience a scene to cringe over. Anyone who's seen Silence of the Lambs clearly remembers Ted's infamous wiener tuck scene. In Wild Wild West Ted played Bloodbath McGrath. Civil War vet and amateur ear improvement surgeon. McGrath lost his left ear in the war of Northern aggression so he fixed the problem with a tiny little phonograph funnel. The instrument worked semi-great most of the time. The only drawback was that it would often fill with Bloodbath's disgusting ear fluid. But in one well-oiled motion the funnel could be tipped to allow the earless hole to drip out all the bad gunk. Why's it Gross? C'mon ear fluid is always gross...
7) The Big Lebowski- Ear Bite and Spit! - The true grandson scene to the for mentioned Midnight Express ear bite scene. In a fight to the death with a group of German Nihilists, Walter Sobchak, (John Goodman) wrestles Karl Hungus, (Pete Stormare) to the ground and in one final desperate act of domination bites a chunk out of the guy's ear then spits it out cleanly into the cool night air... Why's it Gross? It seemed a bit excessive at the time, being that the fight was over four dollars and a little bit of pride...
6) The Fly- Ear Falls Off!- David Cronenberg's The Fly just might make it onto every disgusting Top 10 list that I can dream up. It sure made it onto the 10 Best Puking Scenes in Film list I did a while back. Just after Seth Brundle finishes soaking his donuts in three gallons of fly vomit, he reaches up to scratch his ear - which promptly "pops" off his head. This is the crowning moment in what may come to be eventually known as the grossest series of events in any one film scene. Why's it Gross? The whole scene is gross. See for yourself - Here's The Video
5) Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan- Ear Crawlies!- I don't know what exactly those things were that Khan put in put in Chekov and Terrell's ears, but they looked like earwigs on horse-steroids. They had these huge black pincers, and these little knifey/flicky tongues... And that bloodcurdling screeching sound they mad as they entered the ear... Cringe-inducing to say the least. Why's it Gross? I think everyone in the theater watching Wrath of Khan half-fingered an ear in discomfort during this scene. (their own ear) Here's The Video (oddly enough in German making the scene that much more outrageous)
4) Scary Movie- Ear Glory Hole! - If you do watch the video I've linked below please keep in mind it is most definitely NOT work safe. In probably the funniest scene of this entire un-funny horror spoof franchise Shawn Wayans reenacts the bathroom scene from the opening minutes of Scream 2. Put through the Wayans Brothers filter the scene comes out a bit raunchier, and a whole lot funnier then I would have ever given them credit for. You'll really just have to see it for yourself. I'm not going to describe it here. Why's it Gross? A glory hole is no place for a young man to put his ear up to.... Here's The Video
3) Chopper- Conscious Ear Removal!- An almost unrecognizable Eric Bana plays real Australian gangster Mark Chopper Read who's life story is so hardcore, so insane, it almost plays out like aggrandized self-affection. But it is a true story and it's the one relitively unkown crime film I'm always recommending to every movie geek within earshot. (if you haven't seen it - see it - tonight if possible - Bana is amazing) Back to our story: So to get out of general population in the prison he's locked up in Chopper decides to go chop-chop on the old ears to prove to the prison staff that his life is indeed in jeapordy. In what just might be the single harshest ear-clipping scene in film, Eric Bana has his ears docked. Prison style. Why's it Gross? See for yourself, if you've got the stomach for it. Here's The Video (the scene happens at the 2:30 mark)
2) Dead Alive- Ear Pudding!- This entire film is pretty much disgusting. It is a zombie flick directed by Peter Jackson. (yeah that Peter Jackson) And it does indeed revel in its heavy crudity. In this scene our hero, (Timothy Balme) shares an afternoon lunch with his recently infected Mother, (Elizabeth Moody) and her soddy old friends. Tragically it's at exactly this point when Mother really starts falling apart in our story. Literally falling apart. Then the pudding is served... Why's it Gross? Trust me. It's gross. Here's The Video
1) Reservoir Dogs- Ear Torture!- Like there's really any other famous ear scene in film. In fact Google the words "Ear Scene" and this is what pops up numero uno. (however do NOT Google the word "Google" - you'll destroy the internet) Can anyone hear the song "Stuck in the middle" by Stealers Wheel and not think of Mr. Blond (Michael Madsen) dancing around with some cop's sliced-off ear in his hand? This might have been the moment that Tarantino's legend status was born upon our Earth for better or worse. And all because of one little torture scene involving a straight razor and a police officer tied to a chair... Why's it Gross? It's pretty gross. Maybe not as gross as the Dead Alive scene, but what it lacks in gag-factor it more than makes up for in charm and infamy... Please keep in mind that the scene is most definitely NOT for people with a weak constitution. Here's The Video
And that's it. There were other ear scenes of course, but none as strong as these. I'm glad this little chapter of my life is over so I can go back to focusing on other more lovely, maybe even more inspirational, Top 10 lists in the future. I won't lie and say it was fun to research and write this list.... Well alright, it sort of was. Be here tomorrow for Part IV of Jason vs. Jason.
Related Articles:
Comments
