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Official Oakland Hills predictions for 2009
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Based on local news outlets, there's no one (yet) peering into their crystal balls about the Oakland Hills. To close this gap, here are my official predictions for 2009.
Skyline getting repaired, 2008
10 – We experience three 5.0+ quakes but avoid the Big One next year. While these lesser quakes get covered by CNN, no one mentions them around here.
9 – Major rainstorms produce at least ten big mudslides on Skyline Blvd, and ten new palaces are built on the land.
8 – Locals establish "private" public schools, going well beyond funding school libraries and other resources...to paying all teachers too.
7 – One fast food chain tries to lease space on Park Blvd, but its franchisee slinks away after Glenview neighbors organize a high-profile march to protest the move.
6 – Another fine chocolate shop opens in Montclair, setting up a three-way competition that creates serious strife but no reduced prices at Le Bonbon or XOX Truffles.
5 – Just 25% of empty nesters see their kids return home.
4 – Only one percent of us follows the Oakland A’s and Raiders, down from two percent because three players move away from the Hills.
3 – We arrange a sit-in at Oakland City Hall, inviting a crew of Berkeley professors to occupy the place until there's a budget and real contingency plans.
2 – The Diablo winds fuel massive fires, which decimate the Hiller area. Unlike 1991, everyone gives up and donates their ruined properties to the East Bay Regional Park District.
1 – Zero homicides take place in the Hills, again.
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