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In honor of "Monsters vs Aliens," the best and worst 3D movies
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"Coraline"
The 3D genre is back and we're getting another dose this weekend with "Monsters vs. Aliens." In honor of the rebirth of 3D movies and the latest to be released, here are the best of the best and the worst of the worst:
The five best 3D movies:
5. "Dial M For Murder," 1954. Alfred Hitchcock's classic mystery is one of his greatest and his use of 3D is the perfect mixture of subtlety and shock. Hitchcock is the master and always will be.
4. "The Polar Express," 2004. This was a hard one to choose. I didn't love the movie. It was kind of a bunch of nothing. But the 3D is incredible. There was a reason it was called the "Polar Express" Imax Experience.
3. "Beowulf," 2007. I never thought I'd want anything to do with this story after being forced to read it in high school. But I must say, the complete CG format was quite an impressive spectacle.
2. "House of Wax," 1953. It's the classic horror movie that started the 3D craze of the 1950s and tagged Vincent Price as King of 3D. It's amazing that such an early film didn't use 3D as a gimmick. The movie was not written to accommodate 3D. Instead 3D was worked in where it, well worked. And get this, "Monsters vs. Aliens" pays homage to "House of Wax" as it borrows from one of its most memorable scenes.
1. "Coraline," 2009. This 3D stop-motion animated film was based on the novella by Neil Gaiman. While I think Gaiman's novella is better than the movie, "Coraline" is still the best 3D movie I've seen. So far. The beauty in the movie is that it doesn't use 3D to scare or surprise its audience. Instead it uses it to bring the audience into the film. The darkness and magical tones kind of puts you in a trance and before you know it, it's like you're watching real life instead of a movie. If "Coraline" is any indication where 3D is heading, we're all in for a treat.
The five worst 3D movies:
5. "The Nightmare Before Christmas." 2006. Tim Burton first gave us this great stop-motioned animated piece in 1993. The film was reissued in 3D in 2006 and I still wish it wasn't. It becomes clear that this movie wasn't made for 3D purposes. It just didn't quite make sense to add 3D effects to a movie that wasn't meant to be. But, to give credit where credit is due, I will say this: The movie itself is one of my favorite animated features.
4. "Jaws 3D," 1983. What makes this installment of the monster shark so bad is its horrible translation to a flat version, which is the only version most of us has been able to see. It's as if the filmmakers didn't keep that in mind at all. The quality is poor and let's face it, sharks don't swim fast enough to create any kind of scare. And we all know any "Jaws" movie warns us five minutes before anything bad happens with the famous theme. Oh, and as if the 3D wasn't bad enough, it's set inside a Sea World.
3. "Friday the 13th: Part III," 1982. Just like "Jaws 3," the third installment in the "Friday" franchise is a complete mess when you see it flat. The infamous eyeball scene is a cool concept, but it looks so ridiculous without any 3D glasses. Besides the 3D issues, the movie has some important history for the franchise: It's the one where Jason first donned his hockey mask.
2. "My Bloody Valentine," 2009. What? They remade this? Why? The original was bad enough. The 3D effects are purely a gimmick. And the storyline plays out like a bad episode of "The Young & The Restless." And don't even get me started on the uninventive kills. You can only kill someone with a pickax so many ways. Take a lesson from Jason Voorhees.
1. "Amityville 3D," 1983. The only thing that leaps out at the audience of this flop is that the 1980s 3D comeback was as cheesy as the decade itself. This one has all the makings of a horrible movie: bad acting, bad writing, the lack of a storyline, bad editing, bad effects... I have absolutely nothing nice to say about this one. Accept don't see it. If you could still catch it in 3D I might say see it for a laugh, but without any glasses it would just be a waste of your time.
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