Prop 8: Brian's appeal to CA Supreme Court not to take away his dreams

March 4, 4:18 AMInternational LGBT Issues ExaminerKelvin Lynch

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Here is a letter I received from a young man named Brian, which I have published in its entirety. It's a bit long, but worth the read in my opinion.

Dear Kelvin,

My name is Brian and I was born and raised in a suburb of Hartford, Connecticut.  I am currently a senior in college where I am obtaining my bachelors degree in Information Systems. I was born into the Roman Catholic religion and attended 8 years of Catholic school from grades K through 8. I was baptized and confirmed by the Catholic Church. I currently live in California and have resided here since 2001. I am still Catholic but am not practicing my religion. I am single and have never been married. I do not have any children and currently do not have a boyfriend.

Regarding Proposition 8, there is so much to say. I agree with just about every single argument put forth by petitioners in the 3 cases. I also agree with many of the amicus briefs filed by opponents of Proposition 8 as well. Since November, I have followed the news very closely on a daily basis when it comes to Prop 8. I also have read all of the California Supreme Court filings, including the amicus briefs on both sides of the measure.

I am completely and totally against Prop 8 and totally FOR same-sex marriage. I might have forgotten to mention that I am a gay man. I feel lucky to live in California as gays and lesbians do have many rights that other gays and lesbians in other parts of the country do not share. Some states are so far behind the strides that gays and lesbians have made here in California. I am truly sorry for what many other of my gay brothers and sisters are having to endure in places like Arkansas and Tennessee.

I also am full of PRIDE that my home state now recognizes same-sex marriage. One of the reasons I left Connecticut in the first place was because although a blue and progressive state, I was under the impression that California was where I needed to be in order to be fully accepted for who I am. Ironically, now it is CA that says I do not deserve to be married. Who would have guessed? Nonetheless, California is my home now!

It was extremely difficult coming to terms with my sexuality. In fact for a while I used that as an excuse to screw up my life pretty bad. I was so fearful as to what my family would think. When I told my mother, she said, "yeah, I had a an idea, OK so now can we move on from this, and will you get your life back in order? I love you just the same." It was a huge relief and a weight lifted from my shoulders. I now knew that I was not going to be disowned like so many others are, simply for being gay.

I truly feel that being homosexual is still the last frontier of discrimination that is still allowed and accepted. Just the simple fact that there are some ANTI-gay organizations tells me that. It is hard to stomach that some groups are ANTI-me. I am gay. These people are ANTI-me. This used to be very painful for me as I felt as though I was prey to a life of misery and depression because there were always going to be people who would loathe me simply just for being who I am.

This concept no longer makes me sad, these feelings now fuel my desire to fight harder for the rights of myself and all of my gay brothers and sisters. The LGBT community has soooooo many straight allies whom we owe so much gratitude towards. If it weren't for their support, love and acceptance, we would just be a bunch of screaming gays, and as much as I fear that myself (LOL), the effectiveness would be very limited.

The whole argument about whether being gay is a choice or not is ridiculous. As the CASC pointed out, whether homosexuality is immutable or not, it should not have to be changed. It is so integral to who someone is, to deny that, is to deny someone's inner self.

I do not think that all those who voted for Prop 8 hate gays;  however, there are many who do. The fact that people are killed, fired, beaten, ridiculed, disowned, evicted, harassed, and discharged from the Armed Forces just for being who they are is so very sad to me. There is so much work to be done across this nation. I digress.

The bottom line for me is this -- the people of California, through their Legislature, have enacted the institution of domestic partnership in California for same-sex couples who wish to spend their lives together and have their unions recognized by the state government. I will admit that this was an important first step. However, it exemplifies even more the overall discrimination that innately exists in the institution itself. It is simply a case of separate but equal. Everyone knows that separate is never equal. To give gays and lesbians full equality (which is what domestic partnerships intended to do), then there is no compelling state interest to keep them from actually marrying.

The CASC ruled on some extremely important things last year. The most important was that gays are a "suspect class" in the same way that race is a suspect class.  Under the equal protection clause of the CA Constitution, same-sex couples, as a suspect class, must to be allowed to marry.  This means that any rights taken away as a result of these classifications must be held to strict scrutiny, the highest scrutiny allowed, and the most difficult to overcome.

The people of California have the right to amend their own constitution as they see fit; however, there are some things that must be out of reach of the people. This is one of those things. Civil rights are never won at the ballot box. This is not a popularity contest. This is my life you are talking about. You are messing with my civil liberties and I do not take that lightly. The voters of California can choose to be mean-spirited and closed-minded (not necessarily hateful).  They are allowed to have whatever opinion they choose about gay marriage, and they can also practice any religion they choose and believe whatever it is they want to believe, BUT when it comes to my rights, none of those factors should have any bearing on the California Constitution, which guarantees equal rights for all citizens. Live and Let Live.

Homosexuality is legal.  But due to the dark past and history of discrimination and hardship faced by homosexuals, the courts have a duty to force equality if the people are not willing to grant it. I realize people feel like they are being forced to accept it, or some say they don't like it being 'shoved down their throats by [activist] judges'. The people who feel this way choose to make it their business. I ask them, "Why stick your nose where it doesn't belong?"  When people do this, they run the risk of getting things shoved down their throats. If they just went about their own lives and closed their mouths, nothing could get shoved down there.

Lets look at interracial marriage. Once interracial marriage bans were struck down, an amendment to the California Constitution overriding the Court's ruling and banning interracial marriage was not allowed to stand. The same-sex issue is the same issue. A lot of people choose not to see the analogy of same-sex marriage to interracial marriage. This is of no consequence. The CASC sees absolutely no difference in the two. The immutability factor is a non-issue as far as the court is concerned. So the argument of the voters that gays choose to be gay and therefore should not receive any special protection is moot.

Prop 8 must and will be struck down by the California Supreme Court. I have no doubt in my mind at all that Prop 8 will be repealed. What will be interesting to see is how the Court rules that it is invalidated. Essentially the court has three routes it can take to invalidate Prop 8. I foresee a 6-1 majority vote ruling to invalidate Prop 8, possibly concurring with a different reason altogether to invalidate the measure.  Jerry Brown cleared the third route for the court in case the other two are not as clearly visible for all seven justices. IMHO, this new argument is what is going to put the final nail in the coffin of Prop 8.

There are always going to be those people who will never accept homosexuality and will HATE gays and lesbians. There is nothing anyone can do about these people; they are a lost cause. But to those who are on the fence about this issue, all I ask is that they open their hearts and minds and choose love and equality for all. Everybody has that dream of growing up and falling in love and getting married, including gay people. I would ask these people to please not take that dream away from me. I deserve to be happy too. I never dreamed of being domestic partnered or civil unionized. I want to be married someday.

Sincerely,
Brian

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