Wedding vows

April 7, 5:11 PMMiami Marriage ExaminerParker Moore

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Writing marriage vows can provide an important opportunity to slow down in the midst of what is often a frenetic time. You can reflect on what marriage means to you, and what your partner means to you.

I wrote mine out and framed it with our wedding announcement. I actually find myself going to and re-reading it every so often. It gets me grounded and brings me back to that day. Also, when I’m feeling angry or frustrated, it helps to remember what I promised.

Although we had a no-frills courthouse ceremony, I still wanted to commit to paper what marriage meant to me. Whether you are going all out with the wedding of a lifetime, are having a simple ceremony with family and friends, or are eloping, I encourage you to take the time to write your vows. If you are having a religious ceremony that dictates the use of traditional vows, it can still be a worthwhile personal exercise.

Easier said than done! There are ton of resources and websites out there intended to help with vow writing, so check out the list below for starters. My vows were all over the place, I just wrote on and on, but it worked for me (I figured since we weren’t actually saying vows I could take liberty). Click here to read my vow and to see if there's anything you can use in it--or click the first link in the Resources Section below. (I just reread it and mistakenly thought it read “vow to…torture you…” instead of “nurture you.” Freudian.)

My husband didn’t write any vows. Again, we weren’t using them for the ceremony…and he is not into writing, or speaking really, especially not when it comes to expressing feelings or emotions. It worked for me, not him, so I didn’t see a purpose in forcing him. There are so many other things I plan to force him to do…gotta choose my battles.

 RESOURCES TO GET YOU GOING:

• My Vow
• The Knot.com's Vow Resource. A plethora of resources on writing vows, including how-to’s and a vow wording wizard. They offer vow samples across the spectrum, from irreligious vows to ideas for Quaker, Muslim, Interfaith, Eastern Orthodox, Roman Catholic, etc., ceremonies.
• Writing Your Own Wedding Vows in 6 Easy Steps, from About.com
• Sample Vows, from About.com
• Vows for Second Marriages
• Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet, for inspiration
• How-To Video by Rev. Bill Cochran