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Part 2 with alan roger currie
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(Continued from last week; the rest of the interview with Alan Roger Currie. Alan is the author of the popular paperback Mode One: Let The Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking, as well as his most recent paperback, Upfront and Straightforward. He is also Host of the popular Internet Talk Radio Show, "Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie." My questions are in italic; Alan’s answers aren’t.)
Are most, if not all women highly receptive to Mode One Behavior?
Depends. If a woman is a "manipulative" type… not so much. Manipulative women don't like to be in a position where they are forced to give you a "Yes, I'm interested..." or "No, I'm not interested..." response. They like to be vague and ambiguous. So in many ways, Mode One Behavior irritates and frustrates them.
Non-Manipulative type women LOVE Mode One Behavior. These women don't like to play games or waste time, so Mode One Behavior is very conducive to their needs and desires.
So being Mode One actually helps a guy identify better matches for him; always a good thing. So often people imagine someone to be something they’re not simply because they want them to be so badly. So basically, you believe all women fall into two categories? Manipulative and non-manipulative?
Technically, all women fall into FOUR general categories: Reciprocators, Rejecters, Pretenders and Timewasters. Mode One Behavior most helps you out with the Pretenders and Timewasters. I discuss this in detail in my new book, "Upfront and Straightforward."
Depends. If a woman is a "manipulative" type… not so much. Manipulative women don't like to be in a position where they are forced to give you a "Yes, I'm interested..." or "No, I'm not interested..." response. They like to be vague and ambiguous. So in many ways, Mode One Behavior irritates and frustrates them.
Non-Manipulative type women LOVE Mode One Behavior. These women don't like to play games or waste time, so Mode One Behavior is very conducive to their needs and desires.
So being Mode One actually helps a guy identify better matches for him; always a good thing. So often people imagine someone to be something they’re not simply because they want them to be so badly. So basically, you believe all women fall into two categories? Manipulative and non-manipulative?
Technically, all women fall into FOUR general categories: Reciprocators, Rejecters, Pretenders and Timewasters. Mode One Behavior most helps you out with the Pretenders and Timewasters. I discuss this in detail in my new book, "Upfront and Straightforward."
When you think of all of the confusion, unnecessary complications and overall frustration associated with dating, how do men contribute to the problems and how do women's behavior contribute to the drama?
Both men and women need to identify and express what they REALLY want from each other. If you only want casual sex... say that. If you're looking to get married within the next year or two... say that.
Too many men and women try to "pretend" like they have one set of desires, interests and intentions... when in actuality, they have a totally different set of desires, interests and intentions.
Most, if not all of the problems that occur in most male-female interactions are derived from a lack of upfront, straightforward honesty about your true desires, interests and intentions.
Both men and women need to identify and express what they REALLY want from each other. If you only want casual sex... say that. If you're looking to get married within the next year or two... say that.
Too many men and women try to "pretend" like they have one set of desires, interests and intentions... when in actuality, they have a totally different set of desires, interests and intentions.
Most, if not all of the problems that occur in most male-female interactions are derived from a lack of upfront, straightforward honesty about your true desires, interests and intentions.
Amen, brother! Well said. Oftentimes people aren’t even honest with themselves about what they want, which serves only to further complicate problems. Do you believe women and men can be friends, successfully, without any ulterior motives, particularly on the man’s part?
Generally speaking? No. I just did a show about that. The vast majority of single, heterosexual men in society cannot maintain a long-term platonic friendship with a single woman if they are physically and/or sexually attracted to them. To do so requires too much self-control and self-discipline. Most men "pretend" to be platonic friends with women. I call that "FunClubbing."
Did dating change for you once your book came out? When women learn about the book? How so?
In some ways… yes. Many women who initially behaved in a 'platonic' manner towards me all of the sudden started expressing a romantic and/or sexual interest in me. Similarly, many women who I initially thought were "conservative prude" types started revealing to me their more provocative, sensuous side. Mode One Behavior tends to bring out a woman's "Inner Kinky Freak" side.
It sounds like you believe attraction exists immediately or it doesn’t; you can’t manipulate someone into attraction, correct? Why do you think so much advice on popular talk shows and in magazines focuses on manipulation? Do you find many of these shows discuss manipulation and really don’t address the issue of love?
The idea of "love" is so esoteric. It's hard to put a finger on it. It's not so much that I believe attraction exists immediately or not at all... but I do believe at any given moment in time, you know what your interests are. In other words, you could meet a woman on Monday and she could find you totally unappealing... but by Friday or Saturday, she might find you appealing. I don't believe in lying to women, misleading women, or generally manipulating women in order to provoke interest. That comes back to bite you in the butt.
When you say “manipulative” women, do you mean trixies? (A woman whose friends’ opinions mean more to her than her own.)
A manipulative woman is a woman who generally does one of two things: If she's interested in you, she will initially or indefinitely try to pretend as though she is not.... and if she's not interested in you, she will temporarily or indefinitely give you the misleading impression that she is. Anytime you have one set of desires, interests and intentions... but you give others the impression that you have a totally different set of desires, interests and intentions... you are being manipulative. The lesson I've learned? The more you try to manipulate others, the more you open yourself up to be manipulated.
So mode one helps you to identify a better quality women, correct?
I believe so. Mode One allows you to quickly weed out women who have manipulative intentions and questionable character. A man might not always attract "hot" women (i.e., very beautiful, high degree of sex appeal, etc.) every time he exhibits Mode One Behavior, but he will surely attract women who are upfront and straightforward about what they're really looking for.
Do you think the idea that we need to manipulate each other, to play games, leads to more dating problems than solutions? How so?
Manipulation can provide benefits in the short-run, but very rarely if ever in the long-run. At some point, your real, true self will come to the surface. That's problem #1. Your true desires, interests and intentions will always eventually be exposed. Secondly, when you attempt to manipulate others... you actually become more vulnerable to being manipulated yourself. This is the key point that most men and women don't realize.
I want to thank you again Alan for taking the time to speak with me. It was very insightful. Keep us posted on future projects! Be sure to check out all of Alan’s works at Mode One: Let The Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking, as well as his most recent paperback, Upfront and Straightforward. He is also Host of the popular Internet Talk Radio Show, "Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie."
Generally speaking? No. I just did a show about that. The vast majority of single, heterosexual men in society cannot maintain a long-term platonic friendship with a single woman if they are physically and/or sexually attracted to them. To do so requires too much self-control and self-discipline. Most men "pretend" to be platonic friends with women. I call that "FunClubbing."
Did dating change for you once your book came out? When women learn about the book? How so?
In some ways… yes. Many women who initially behaved in a 'platonic' manner towards me all of the sudden started expressing a romantic and/or sexual interest in me. Similarly, many women who I initially thought were "conservative prude" types started revealing to me their more provocative, sensuous side. Mode One Behavior tends to bring out a woman's "Inner Kinky Freak" side.
It sounds like you believe attraction exists immediately or it doesn’t; you can’t manipulate someone into attraction, correct? Why do you think so much advice on popular talk shows and in magazines focuses on manipulation? Do you find many of these shows discuss manipulation and really don’t address the issue of love?
The idea of "love" is so esoteric. It's hard to put a finger on it. It's not so much that I believe attraction exists immediately or not at all... but I do believe at any given moment in time, you know what your interests are. In other words, you could meet a woman on Monday and she could find you totally unappealing... but by Friday or Saturday, she might find you appealing. I don't believe in lying to women, misleading women, or generally manipulating women in order to provoke interest. That comes back to bite you in the butt.
When you say “manipulative” women, do you mean trixies? (A woman whose friends’ opinions mean more to her than her own.)
A manipulative woman is a woman who generally does one of two things: If she's interested in you, she will initially or indefinitely try to pretend as though she is not.... and if she's not interested in you, she will temporarily or indefinitely give you the misleading impression that she is. Anytime you have one set of desires, interests and intentions... but you give others the impression that you have a totally different set of desires, interests and intentions... you are being manipulative. The lesson I've learned? The more you try to manipulate others, the more you open yourself up to be manipulated.
So mode one helps you to identify a better quality women, correct?
I believe so. Mode One allows you to quickly weed out women who have manipulative intentions and questionable character. A man might not always attract "hot" women (i.e., very beautiful, high degree of sex appeal, etc.) every time he exhibits Mode One Behavior, but he will surely attract women who are upfront and straightforward about what they're really looking for.
Do you think the idea that we need to manipulate each other, to play games, leads to more dating problems than solutions? How so?
Manipulation can provide benefits in the short-run, but very rarely if ever in the long-run. At some point, your real, true self will come to the surface. That's problem #1. Your true desires, interests and intentions will always eventually be exposed. Secondly, when you attempt to manipulate others... you actually become more vulnerable to being manipulated yourself. This is the key point that most men and women don't realize.
I want to thank you again Alan for taking the time to speak with me. It was very insightful. Keep us posted on future projects! Be sure to check out all of Alan’s works at Mode One: Let The Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking, as well as his most recent paperback, Upfront and Straightforward. He is also Host of the popular Internet Talk Radio Show, "Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie."
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