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Swine flu turns my son into Woody Allen
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My son Woody.
My son is what you might call a 'sensitive child,' as well as a budding child actor / hypochondriac.
He once tripped inside the house and walked like Quasimodo two blocks to school to prove how injured he was in an impressive attempt to get out of going to school.
A few hours later, when picking up his sister at school, I saw him running around the playground.
"Hi Drew," I said, waving to him. Soon as he saw me the Quasimodo limp returned, and he hobbled over to the fence where I stood waiting.
"I saw you running, Drew," I said.
"Oh," was all he replied with a glimmering brace-face smile.
So when I got the call from school today complaining that he suddenly contracted all the swine flu symptoms that I'd just told him about that morning (and that I'm sure his teacher had also gone over in class), I couldn't help but be skeptical.
My son has been fighting off a minor cold since last weekend. He's had a cough but no fever. He seemed to be getting better this week.
This morning, I explained to my kids (8 & 10) what the swine flu is and why it's so important for them to wash their hands and sneeze into their elbows. I explained it was highly unlikely anyone they know would get the swine flu but that they needed to wash their hands more often to be safe.
By afternoon, my son is Woody Allen. He says he has all the symptoms I'd told him about: fever, headache, bodyache, nausea (he claims he threw up twice--I have to admit that part concerned me).
But what are the odds? I'd just written how unlikely this all was hours before for this very column - was doing that a curse? Did I jinx us all?
He was warm but not hot, and the school office lady said this cold has been going around the school.
Earlier in the day, I'd just listened to Dr. Dean Edell on the radio explain that we really don't need to rush to the ER for every sniffle and cough, unless the child has some of the more serious symptoms (especially high fever, nausea, major overall body aches). Drew's nausea concerned me most...but still I was skeptical given his history of faker-itis.
We went home. Since he didn't have a temperature I thought I'd wait and see how he was. Then his friend calls after school wanting a play date. All of a sudden, he miraculously self cures, and when I ask about the headache and body ache he admits, "Well, I fell at recess and hit my head."
I think this is making a lot of people crazy, including our kids and their friends. When kids see their parents freaking out, as many of them are, kids will freak out ten times as much, especially smart, sensitive kids like my son.
I don't think my son was pretending about all the symptoms. He does have a persistent cough. I believe he did throw up, perhaps partly out of nerves because of this frenzy, but also, because his body tends to do that to eliminate mucus.
These past few days he's heard so many people talking about the swine flu, I believe he truly made himself believe he had it.
Tonight, as I was tucking him into bed, I caught him licking the back of his hand and asked him, "Do you taste like bacon?"
"No," he said, smiling.
"Oh good. I guess that means you're okay."
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