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Online propaganda of a match.com generation
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Homeless and in love. Photos/wardrobe by S. Jenx. Make up by Krysi King. Models: Cassie Hepler and Scott Staab.
Ahhh, the expedited service of an online love generation. I love those new commercials by Dentyne that proclaim "make face time" and then an instant message noise. It's a piece of mint-flavored tasty advertising aimed at a digital generation who hasn't the time for met-you-at-the-park love.
So then, what to do... what to do? Why join an online love searching community complete with pre-screened matches selected just for you. Of course we have the old stand-by match.com, the soul-searching eharmony.com for those marriage-minded souls who are straight which caused a ruckus among the gay community, okcupid.com for the horny crew out there complete with a bang or pass game (classy, eh?). And let's not forget the site solicited to me at sparkbliss.com, a more private community of people who don't want to be outed while searching for love online. (Read more about sparkbliss here http://www.examiner.com/x-4085-DC-Dating-Examiner~y2009m2d24-An-internet-daters-right-to-privacy.)
And let's not forget myspace.com for all the kids out there - the new (or shall I say old) hook-up site that claims to be "a place for friends." Haha. Friends.
Anyway, there is also chemisty.com, but according to them, I had no matches. I guess this proves I really am strange. Boo!
Now let me be up front in the fact that I had tried this online thing back in 2001. I even flew out to Idaho to meet the guy. I then wrote about the fiasco in the Penn State campus newspaper The Collegian that landed me an interview at the Philadelphia Inquirer. Boy am I glad I don't work there. Check out the latest here: http://www.newspaperdeathwatch.com/
Well obviously it didn't work out as I'm still writing about love and relationships nine years later. (Hmmm maybe they should pull the plug on me here!) The reason: misrepresentation. He wasn't whom he made himself out to be. From then on, I dated people I physically met first.
Fast forward to recently. While single, I got caught up in the match.com craze that infiltrates like the flu virus. It first started with my old roommate. She was like a crack addict. Every night she had a date with a different guy (with the same game, by the way- the same Chris Rock or George Lopez DVD and a bottle of wine ... it was kind of creepy the way her laugh was encrypted like a sitcom laugh track). I thought she was a ho. Now I realize she was addicted to dating, for the most part.
So one rainy, boring night I signed up with the 20% discount, of course (I never pay retail, keep an eye on my next column for money-saving love tips). And so it began. I started dating-a lot. Either on the site, random people I met out or at the Philadelphia meet market New Year's event (not so great for 30-year olds, great for those 40 and above by the way). I met a few nice guys but most turned out to be, well, jerks. For instance, after watching Michael Moore's Sicko movie, I was even more appalled at the health care industry than usual. Turns out he worked for CIGNA and declared, "I don't care what they do as long as I get paid." Uhhh, next. Another date showed up 45 minutes late at a new, fantastic restaurant called Mango Moon in Manayunk. After drinking my way through the meal and his rude demeanor to the waitress, the check came. "Ummm, Cassie, if this was our second or third date, I would pay but since it's our first date, I'm going to have to ask you to pay half." Again.... next!
So somewhere after that, I passed along my account to another victim who then followed in the same pattern and so on. In two words, I can sum up the experience for everyone: overindulgence and over stimulation.
I'm quite convinced that the Internet will bring more people together but alas; it is shuffling through the bullcrap that is the ultimate downfall.
And with that, I leave you with one word of advice.
If you can't find someone the natural way in a few years, there is always babyboomers.com.
Happy surfing!
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