Dear Dudley: Don't quit your day job

July 12, 11:24 PMLife in the Cubicle ExaminerDudley B. Dawson

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The moment you see the Rest Area ahead sign,
your body tells you to start urinating.  The growth
of your side business is no different.

DEAR DUDLEY,

I am an entrepreneur who is just getting his business off the ground, thus I still work a corporate job.  My job is necessary for me to get the funds to build my business, yet with my business being my true passion, coupled with a disdain for working for an hourly wage, it becomes more and more difficult to come back to my cubicle in the mornings, or after lunches and breaks. How do I fight the urge every day to run from the office screaming, with the urge to never come back?

Signed,
TROUBLED ENTREPRENEUR

---

Dear TROUBLED ENTREPRENEUR,

Many Americans are in your situation.  Balancing your full time job with your entrepreneurial passion is a more common problem than you'd think.  The American Dream is to own your own successful business, yet the majority of us sit in cubicles working for the man.  We sit in miserable offices where we are under appreciated, our skills are misused or ignored, and our passion for life deteriorates quickly.  Why?  Because we are risk-averse people that need to be assured we have the money to pay for our monthly bills.  In return, our souls are sucked.  The only thing that keeps us waking up in the morning is a dream that we will someday break free from the shackles of corporate life.  For many it's an undeveloped dream, but like you, some have already planted the seed.  The problem is that your corporate job is your watering can.  You rely on the income for more than just your monthly bills.  Your growing personal business depends on it. 

Quitting your job too soon places your own business at risk, but as you mentioned in your letter, work is becoming increasingly difficult.  Your problems seem to be mounting.  These problems are a direct result of your personal business growth.  It should be a good thing to see that your budding business is showing signs of growth, but it only makes your cubicle job worse.  It's like having to urinate during a long road trip.  You've had to urinate for hours but it didn't become an issue until you saw the sign that read "Rest Stop 21 miles ahead".  The sign says "21 miles" but your brain says "now".  The next 21 miles are filled with every maneuver in the book that prevents you from pissing your pants.  The closer you get, the closer you are to pissing your pants.  Pissing your pants leads to wet pants and a much more difficult road trip.  You need to make sure you stay the course, otherwise you're pissing your dream away. 

To make it the last "21 miles", here are four things you can do to ease the pain of working at the office until your business reaches a self-sufficient stage:

1. Stop caring.  In almost all cases, people who are frustrated about their work are people who care too much about their job.  You are past the point of no return.  Your business is budding and you can see the rest stop ahead.  There's no reason to care about your current job, so don't.  If Jim comes into your office and gives you too much work, just do whatever is comfortable.  If that happens to be a little work for 30 minutes, than give him a little work for 30 minutes.  But always be incredibly courteous to everyone.  Be relaxed, be polite, and don't do anything extra.  People will notice your lack of care, but they'll also notice your new upbeat positive attitude.  The two will wash each other out and you'll be able to milk the job until you're financially ready to quit and focus only on your business.

2. Build up vacation.  If your employer allows you to bank large amounts of vacation time, try to start building up a substantial amount of time off.  When you feel it's time to pull the trigger and focus only on your business, use up all of your vacation time before giving 2 weeks notice.  This gives you nearly 6 weeks to prepare for the transition.  It will also anger your employer, which is a double bonus.

3. Make a suggestion that HR should implement temporary paid leave for employees.  During the late 1990s and the early part of this decade, some employers opted to give employees a portion of their salary during a 6 to 9 month leave of absence.  The idea behind the policy was that things may speed up in 9 months and it prevents the employer from having to hire and train a whole new crop of employees.  If you're able to swing even 50-75% of your current salary during a 9 month leave, it's like hitting the jackpot for someone like yourself.  You can focus 100% of your attention on your new business.  Congratulations on your free personal business loan.

4. Try to get laid off.  The key to this strategy is that it's much like #3.  Instead of getting paid by your employer, you'll get paid by the government on unemployment.  This will give you a nice break to start focusing purely on your new business.  To get laid off, simply stop participating in everything.  Show up to meetings but do not talk.  If asked to speak, talk about off-subject topics.  If asked to provide "deliverables", deliver them absolute garbage that can't be used for any purpose or deliver them nothing at all.  Large corporations are afraid to fire incompetent employees.  They play it safe and lay you off.  Large corporations only fire people for not showing up to work, work negligence in excess of several years, bigotry, sexual harassment, or public nudity.   None of this applies to small business employers.  They'll can you the moment you mess up.

As bad as it seems at work, just remember they are funding your new business.  It's a natural reaction to want to get up and quit.  However, it's far more effective to use one of the methods above.  It's easy to get excited about a new business, but it's always better to urinate at a rest area than it is to wet your pants.  Just 21 more miles.  You can make it.

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'Dear Dudley' will appear every Monday in Dudley B. Dawson's Life in the Cubicle column.  Do you have a question to ask Dudley?  Email him at CitizensAgainstDonHenley@gmail.com.

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