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Energy Examiner

Smirnoff Raw Tea: The Worst alco-pop yet

POSTED May 15, 3:04 PM

Unless you’re 14 years old and sneaking your first drink, there’s no reason to ever bring this within 20 feet of your mouth–even for the sake of reporting on caffeinated tea-flavored malt beverages. It is not just that this stuff is bad - it is like drinking Zima or a Shandy ( a popular drink in the UK mixing pilsner and 7-up) - this has a completely worthless buzz with an equally worthless alcohol content. This is artificial tasting, extra sweet and extra gooey. Of all the drinks to consume in an evening, you would be so much better off drinking a Lipton or just a diet anything with a shot in it. Even at Tea Partays ( their website is at teapartay.com), there is no better way to be forever shunned from future gatherings than to whip a six pack of these out. I guarantee you will be bringing the full pack home with you after the party untouched. Please - let this oddity from Smirnoff die.
DiaGeo has been selling this drink since 2006, but with very little marketing outside a cheesy viral video that might have been funny when white guys rapping was comedy back in 1985.

Their slogan is "Smirnoff takes natural raw tea brewed in a premium malt beverage that is then ice-filtered five times to create a powerfully smooth, infinitely refreshing taste that is naturally loaded with flavor!" I think the ice filtering also took out the flavor, caffeine and alcohol with it.

Buzz/Nutrition:2
230 calories per 12oz bottle? And what do you get for your 230 calories... You get an oversweet not very alcoholic (5%) tea - something that will provide none of the buzz or good effects of the energy drink ingredients theysupposedly added. I called the main manufacturer of the drinks here in the US, and no one ther could tell me how much caffeine, ginseng or any other ingredient was in this - the only thing they could tell me is to check on their website for nutritional information (it just listed soduim, carbs, protein and calories). In other words, no one there knows how much caffeine or nutrients is in here - but I promise you it cant be very much.

Taste:2
It comes in three very non-exciting or original flavors, raspberry, lemon, and peach, all of them sticky and more fake than a pack of powdered Sunny D. If you must have one ( I.E. you are at a high school party and they already ran out of budget beer) I would grab the lemon - it is the least bad of the three I tried.

Packaging:3
no information, no website, just a simple bottle with a neat and clean logo. If only they felt the desire to even point to the place to go for more info - but there was none to be found. The only good thing is the pretty layout and font choices to go along with the logo. Certainly not a reason to celebrate.

Website:teapartay.com:3
Do you remember when people used to make fun of Urkel? Or Screech? White guys pretending to rap is as old as Wierd Al making fun of the Michael Jackson. The fact that they tried so hard to make this cool is inadvertantly funny. At what point did they think this was a good idea enough to make 2 of these videos, and wrap their whole marketing scheme around them? Th website is these 2 videos, a little tiny bit of info about the drink, and a bunch of unfinished links. For a drink launched in 2006 that is just plain unexcusable. Sorry Smirnoff - but you are beyond yesterday's news.

Jeremy's consumer blog review

Categories: Energy Alcohol Drink

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Mad Croc Caffeinated Gum and Chews

POSTED May 15, 11:17 AM

Gum chewing has always been a problem for me. I would last about 2 minutes, and then I would have this thing in my mouth that I did not really want there, but felt like it was just too icky to go spitting it out on the ground somewhere, so off I go, hunting for a garbage can rather than just wadding it up somewhere or wrapping it up in its wrapper and storing it until a garbage can could be found. Do most normal people have this problem? Either that, or I would swallow and feel guilty, knowing I had a knot of gum sitting and rotting in my stomach for years, probably forming into a gloppy gum tree in the pit of my innards.
It took me years to learn how to chew in public without causing those nearest me to squeal and run in horror, so I never really got the bubble blowing thing or any of the other cook kid tricks you can do with a stick. My lack of basic coordination meant I was usually chewing with my mouth open, smacking my lips and not even aware of it too, or if I concentrated enough to prevent this I would inevitably walk into walls.
It has gotten so bad that now, out of fear of public ridicule, I never chew gum in public. Ever. I would rather be seen plucking the hairs out of my eyebrows and eating them that be caught smacking and playing with my gum, never learning the basic human skill of gum etiquette.
So it was with some trepidation I picked up Mad-Croc's chewing gum packets, hiding myself in a small closet before trying the first of the flavors in my possession.
The first up was the citrus blast - a great flavor, Loads better than Jolt Gum. It was strong fruity and sweet, but then got real bad after about 5 minutes of chewing. The spearmint did much better, faring at least 10 minutes of good taste before someone was coming my way and I hate to start my frantic search for the garbage.
The third up was the easiest to eat by far - the Mad Croc Chews - which were not technically a gum and more like a Now and Later, which is like a gum but is perfectly acceptable to swallow, thus rendering most of my gum insecurity moot.
Buzz/ nutrition:9
The gum appears to be sugar free - using Xylitol for sweetener. This accounts for the 10 calories in each piece, or 20 for a normal dosage. This is packed with an energy drinkers favorite mix of B vitamins and taurine. Don't expect an immediate rush though - Each piece has 40 mg in it, but it is absorbed in your body differently than if you ingested it. This gum can take as much as 10 minutes for you to start feeling the effects. This means 2 chicklet sized pieces will give you 80mg , or the amount found in Red Bulls and Monsters.While I would not suggest eating a pack of these - I would recommend having a few in your mouth - if your mouth can handle all that chewing...
Both kinds worked great for me, and in about 10 minutes I felt the rush of caffeine hit my system and kept me bouncing for about 3 hours.

The Chews are completely different. They take as little as 15 to 20 minutes to kick in, and each little piece has just 8 calories. That means you can eat the whole package yourself and not feel guilty about it! The chews also have fun ingredients in them, like honey and egg whites as well as the energy drink mix that are in the gum.

Taste: citrus - 6 Chews-7 peppermint-9
The gum comes in a number of flavors including Power peppermint, spearmint, cinnamon, and citrus. I could only find Citrus and Peppermint, plus a pack of citrus chews at my local target - but I thought that it was enough for an accurate portrayal of the gum and chews. If you have tried this before, I would suggest you try it again. When the product first came out, the flavor was abysmal. It was panned up and down the states as the most icky thing you could put in your mouth. But, after their lettle fiasco with red bull, they really changed things around and did the whole line with new design, new marketing, and most importantly, new flavor.
The peppermint was the best gum by far - completely like Wrigleys or any other chicklet, only with caffeine in it. The taste did not get old or sour like Jolt gum, and managed to keep the flavor consistent for the entire length of the chew.

The citrus started out fantastic! the strong flavor was like Juicy Fruit and not even a little sour or confusing. This was one tasty gum! As I said, it started good. After about 2 minutes, the flavor went horribly horribly wrong. It got sour and real bad. but after that passed, it was fine again - once whatever was causing the grossness finally dissolved away.

the chews were next - and I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked them. It was a very tasty, if not very caffeinated, treat. While I would not get this over an energy drink, I might choose this over your average Laffy Taffy

The peppermint did fantastic though!the flavor was EXACTLY like that of your average peppermint gum. It was not too sweet, and was very minty and left me with a great taste in my mouth along with the buzz and dancing in my eyes. If you have the choice, this is definitely the flavor to grab.

Packaging:6
Gum in a blister pack. ooo. The art on the cover is pretty cool, and it does a fine job of letting you know the ingredients, but the bit where they list the caffeine content by comparison to energy drinks is dumb. Redline has over 500mg of caffeine in it, and My green tea energy has 50. If they at least compared it to Red Bull or monster there would be something better to go on.

Website: 8 madcroc.com
pretty fantastic - the design and the concept worked great to provide both in information and brand design, going for an iconographic display rather than a traditional "extreme" marketing campain. This very savvy site will get you just about all the info you would possibly want to know about the company and its history.

Junkfoodblog review - spearmint
Dave's BandBdesigns reviews
energydrinkreviews.com review

Categories: Energy foods

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FREE Iced Coffee Day at Dunkin Donuts

POSTED May 14, 3:22 PM

In case you have not heard the news, Dunkin' Donuts said it will celebrate its second annual free iced coffee day Thursday, and the likely result is that the chain will serve nearly 4 million cups of iced coffee to customers nationwide. There is no rush - unlike the free Starbucks or McDonalds tastings that are puny and only run for a couple hours in the morning, Dunkin Donuts is giving out Full Size 16oz drinks from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Customers can walk into any participating Dunkin' Donuts restaurant (or can hit any number of stores throughout the day...) throughout the country.

Customers will be encouraged to try try their new iced coffee drinks; Berry Berry Iced Coffee, which combines the seasonal tastes of blueberry and raspberry with Dunkin' Donuts' award-winning coffee, the chain said.

And because I thought it was fitting, the new Dunkin commercial by They might be giants! I love the small limping animal crawling away on the floor

Categories: In The News , coffee

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WOW - Bing Black Cherry Energy Juice - if you see it, ingest immediately

POSTED May 14, 12:29 PM

I admit it - I am a big fan of Bing, and fortunately live in Colorado, so picking up a case of this delicious nectar is pretty easy. For those of you who don't, you can buy them online here - and don't worry - going through a case of these is a little too easy. This drink is a sure winner, with their combination of Acai Berries and cherries. This tasted very much like cherry juice, except little aftertaste and lower sugar that most juiced energy drinks out there. It only has 40 calories, and is sweetened with cane sugar. Also has flax seed and some other fun minerals which help detox the body. I find myself easily drinking a couple of these a day if I am not paying attention. I have heard they are trying to push this brand out of state, and I hope they make it, because here is drink that is very unique and very tasty, and if treated right could storm the country.

Buzz/nutrition:10
Great kick, and very little sluggishness after. The caffeine is at a substantial 120mg, as well as 1000 milligrams of taurine. If you are not careful you could drink WAY to much caffeine from them and be bouncing around at 2AM(which I have been known to do). They also added flax and acai, so it tastes very juicy even though it only has, surprisingly, 5% juice. It contains the usual B and C vitamin mix I have come to expect. The Bing Cherries, Flax and Acai are also antioxidants. There is really nothing they can do to improve on their drink that is so loaded with good things for you while being so low in calories.

Taste: 10
I Can't get over the taste. If you like cherries, this is the drink. More than any other energy drink, and I have had dozens with the fake cherry flavor, this is the best tasting cherry drink ever produced in aluminum. It's like a non-syrupy grenadine, or real cherry juice without any bitterness. The only sour is at the very start of the drink and quickly dissipates, leaving very little aftertaste -and a whole lot of refreshment and thirst quenchiness (my new word of the day)

Packaging: 3

WOW! Big mis-step here. They used to be packaged like this: Very colorful albeit cartoony.
the new packaging is just plain awful. Not sure who they were trying to market to here. without a doubt energy drinkers would not pick it up. Not would juice buyers - for it does not look like Snapple or lifewater, or anything else even close to that category. It does have the look of being designed by a 1st year art student however - created in Microsoft word by someone who never drinks anything but tap water. Please Please give this new design some much needed assistance. It is the right size can and I like that there is clearly labeled information as to what I am consuming, but the this is possibly the most hideous one I have seen yet.

Website:Bing Official Site: 2
Ok - like I needed to see such a horrible site after drinking this fantastic drink. Unless you are ordering some, stay far far away from this site! Remember when people who should have known better made a site about their cats on Geocities? This is worse. A browser crashing mess of annoying blinky fonts, an unusable menu, and even a sound clip dumped on every page as a quicktime clip. I guess they spent all their time and money on the drink, and ran out of dough before they could hire an ad team to do the packaging and the site. Please - give a couple cases away to a talented designer who could spend a good couple days and make you something worthy. It is such a shame to have a fantastic drink like this and such a revolting website.

Energy Drink Reviews blog review
Taurine rules review of bing

Categories: Energy Juice

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Sobe essential Energy - Berry Pom

POSTED May 14, 12:24 PM

I got hold of a very juicy can today - Sobe Essential Energy - with loads of nutrients and juices, using both yerba mate, Guarana and caffeine for pick me ups, antioxidants and a great grapey flavor. If you are looking for a great juicy drink and Bing is not available, this would be my next go-to can. It is pretty, has a small boost and is generally a nice safe easy to guzzle drink.

Buzz /Nutrition:5
This drink is loaded with calories, and tastes it. It does have a bunch of good things in here, from loads of antioxidants and Yerba Mate, but it also only contains 7% juice. It would be great if they did this one diet, as I am still not sure that someone who is wanting a healthy drink is going to willingly choose 240 empty calories, without much caffeine content and lacking the "special ingredient" that sepaprates these juice infused drinks from each other. Bing has Acai berries, Guru has a definite grape seed flavor,and this drink has... Pomegranate? Pom is soo popular now - that along with their new facelift, I would see about developing the same drink with either less empty calories or a uniqueness to the ingredient list.

Taste:8
That being said - this drink tastes wonderful. Really, I would grab this if I wanted a fruity pick me up - as it is very sweet and very natural tasting. This drink is very strong grape juice and could be drunk any time during the day. The only thing to keep in mind is that this drink will also fill you up - as much as drinking a couple full calorie sodas will. This is important because as you slow down your consumption, this drink will warm up - and that is actually OK. I would say that 90% of the drinks out there turn to gasolene or some other vile substance if it gets warm - but this one can handle it. I think that is because of the juice flavors - that it does not need to be rushed down your throat.

Packaging:8 and 6
I liked the first package just fine. I thought it was great as it stood out from teh shelf decked out in purple and green. Sure, it was hard to read, but it still gave off a nice fruity flavor. The lizards were still easy to see, and the important info was very clear. The only missteps were the complete washout of dark green against the purple, and their lettering for the promo text came out all fuzzy and distorted. Still is was a very pretty can that did its job well - even listing the caffeine content prominently.
It is easy to see why they switched to the new design however. Now it is completely easy to read anything, but they are trying to FOOL you into thinking these are not empty calories, and even makes it look diet, as it is a light blue against white ( conventionally the color for diet foods) The drink isn't blue, just the can - which almost makes me call shenanigans again - but not quite. Just clever marketing trying to sucker the energy drink consumer.

Website:http://www.sobeessentialenergy.com : 7
Kinda funny and gives you mort of the info you would want on a website. Seems very corporate however, like they are trying to be a slick marketing campaign that will be "hip" and "edgy". I refuse to be part of anything in that category. I wish they would just tone down the we-got-this-site-designed-by-hotshots-in-the-valley routine and come up with something more natural and less demographically sensitive.

Taurine Rules
Dan's bandddesigns.com reviews

Categories: Energy Juice

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Big Red Boots
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