Caffeine Examiner

Caffeinated Suckers - Tootsie Roll Maxxed Pops

Do you remember when you were a kid ( r this morning for some people) and you just got that bag of Fruit Loops or Cap'n Crunch and started eating it like it was candy? Next thing you knew the roof of your mouth was ripped up and shredded like you ate razor blades?  This new energy pop, manufactured by Charms (same ones who make Tootsie Roll, among many other tasty candies) and made from meth addicted radioactive cat's tongues, has the distinction of being both amazingly attractive and SuperHip, as well as being over the top gimmicky and way too painful to eat. Now, I love this lollipop - or more truthfully, I really want to love this lollipop - I am just not sure if it is a relationship I am ready for in my life. I lust for what it gives me, it goes forever and makes my head spin, but I am always sorry for myself once it is gone - and leaves me scraped up and burning in all the wrong places.

Because of the uniqueness of the product, I shared my booty (Acosta Sales was so kind to send me samples,  along with the cool display box it came in and more information than I knew possible for a lollipop).  To make sure that anyone in their right minds would not confuse this with a kids candy, Charms has worked over the whole marketing of the product line so everyone will know this is purely a  concentrated energy drink. Because of this I enlisted an outside candy connoisseur to help with out with an unbiased review.

His opening views were favorable.
"The pop reminded me a lot of a blow-pop, due to both its shape and a background flavor that I can’t quite identify. During the life of the pop, I kept expecting to eventually reach gum, but I know it will not happen."

Nutrition/Buzz: 7
"I enjoy the taste, although I cannot really identify one flavor. I cannot say that I feel a caffeine kick, but it was a nice pick-me-up in the middle of the day."

Well , it seems one of these jumbo sized pops are packed full of energy drink nutrients in a crunch size form. These are filled with Ginseng, Guarana, Taurine & B-vitamins, with a 40mg doze of caffeine. So it is as much as a half a Red Bull or Monster. Each energy pop also has around 90 calories, Niacin, Vitamin B and 500 mg taurine and 50 mcg of inositol.

While I was very impressed with the nutrients in the pop, the amount of calories in this can seemed pretty high. that means that in order for me to get any real buzz, I would need to consume 180 calories of gritty candy.

Taste/Texture:2
"The size of pop makes it a tad uncomfortable for the first few minutes of sucking (that just doesn’t sound right). I enjoy the grittiness of the pop as it helped keep it stationary in the mouth. I enjoy the taste, although I cannot really identify one flavor. "
Gah - the burning! While the taste is good - very sweet and lasts forever, the texture of these pops is like sandpaper! I don't think I have ever had a more difficult-to-suck pop.

My fellow taste reviwer changed his mind about 10 minutes after finishing...

"I just ate a granola bar - $&!@, it hurt! It's like a burn - that pop ripped up the inside of my mouth!"

Packaging
"The packaging is cool, but overkill and makes me think that I would be paying as much for packaging as for the pop. Plus, once you have opened the can and taken out the pop … the packaging is pretty useless. I can’t say that I would pay more than 50 cents for a single pop."

According to their literature, the totally awesome pull tab can is there because it maintains freshness. To me that would assume there is more to the can than the aluminum covered cardboard toilet paper tube it seems to be. On further inspection, although the cardboard "can" it comes in is stronger than I expected, it is not like  the pop is hermetically vacuum packed in there. Known for being a huge, er, sucker for marketing ploys, I gotta say that this one totally works for me. Even the stick on Maxxed Pops is a strong plastic stick which can handle the hugeness of the pop.

As for the cost, the list price for these is just .69, so any place selling these for over a dollar is ripping you off.  Overall, I would say to give this one a try - but take it easy or you will be in for a literal world of hurt.

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