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Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another edition of "In The News". For those of you unaware, and who haven't checked the HTML browser up ahead, I'm Collin Breaux, the New Orleans Celebrity Headlines Examiner, and as such I seek to bring you a recap of everything that's going down in this humid vesion of Tinseltown. Well, enough about me, let's get down to business.
- Yo-Yo Ma performed at Mahalia Jackson Theater for the Performing Arts
Straight gangsta, y'all. (Credit: AP/Gerald Hebert)
Celebrated celloist Yo-Yo Ma was in town last Sunday, performing a highly acclaimed set for a sell-out crowd. He blew through a song by Robert Schumman and the musical virtuoso was reported to have a empathic bond with the crowd. As well, he also went through "Hary Janos Suite", originally written by....oh, who cares? Let's be honest, if you're browsing through a Hollywood column oline, chances are you're not the world's bigest classical fan.
Several residents in the Woodmere and 9th Ward areas had to be calmed down, as they originally thought Yo-Yo Ma's name was an intended slur against their families. (Cue the "you're a racist" e-mails in 3....2....1....)
- Aaron Eckhart filming movie role down here
That's right, the hot new hunk in cinema, is currently in Baton Rogue on the set of his new action/sci-fi film "Battle Los Angeles". Either this is a loose adaptation of Rage Against The Machine's classic 1999 anti-establishment album or they just figure movie audiences these days are too lazy and stupid to even put up with an "Of" in the title.
On set, Mr. Eckhart was reported to be thanking people for smoking out the side of his face that wasn't horribly disfigured. Look, people, I know these jokes are lame, but give me a break. It is a Thursday, after all.
- Jason Staham involved in vague acivity in NOLA
Word has it that Jason Staham is "doing his thing" in New Orleans in a remake of "The Mechanic" with Donald Sutherland. I kid you not, here is the quote verbatim from The Times Picayune: "Chiseled action veteran Jason Staham has started doing his thing in New Orleans on the action remake 'The Mechanic', co-starring Donald Sutherland."
Okay, I could see someone on this site getting away with that, but in a newspaper? The Pulitzer-Prize winning The Times-Picayune? Seriously?
- No one knows what Master P is up to or even where he is at this moment
Yet, somehow, the world continues revolving.
- Ryan Reynolds possibly filming Green Lantern film down here
And, last but not least, the wet dream of fanboy geeks everywhere may come to life, as there is talk of finally shooting a Green Lantern film down here. Ryan Renolds' name has been attatched to the project, and one possible set for directing is the Crescent City itself. An early draft of the script has been leaked, with one scene featuring Ryan Reynolds using the Green Lantern's famous ring to produce a funny version of Van Wilder. BURN!
And that's all the news that's fit to mock, folks!
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