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Why doesn't love last?
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How much fun is it to watch a really great romantic comedy or love story and secretly wish the main character was us? In today’s society, saturated with such films and romanticized stories of how our grandparents met, we are brought up to believe in fairytales and that one day our Prince Charming will come to sweep us off our feet and we’ll live happily ever after. Did you ever stop to think what was wrong with this picture?
Every single one of us has been in or been witness to a failed relationship and it is often reported that 50% of all new marriages end in divorce and pre-marital relationships fail even faster so with this in mind, does true love even exist?
Unfortunately, when we look outside of ourselves for completion, happiness or love, it’s almost guaranteed to end in heart-break. This kind of thinking is extremely damaging to our self-esteem as it can lead us to believe we aren’t already ‘enough’ without that special someone; that we are not ‘whole’ until ‘Mr. Right’ decides to show up. In this way, looking to someone else to complete us is a very unhealthy and dangerous way to begin a relationship. The idea that one person can complete another is just a romanticized myth created by the film industry, the media and encouraged by our society as a whole. Looking to someone else for our fairytale ending only teaches us to hold off being happy until Prince Charming finally does come along?
Whether you’re single or already in a relationship, the best strategy to overcome this pitfall is to get happy! Love and respect yourself first, enjoy your life the way it is and stop waiting. Work on you; work on your self esteem and confidence because if you love you, you’ll attract a partner who’ll want to love you too. Love simply isn’t the ‘happily ever after’ fairytale we were brought up to believe because often, after the initial feeling of being in lust or when the ‘honeymoon’ period is over, one or both partners can become dissatisfied and may seek new emotional highs which will only lead to heartache and unnecessary pain. Creating a truly loving relationship begins when we decide what to do after the feeling of lust has passed, it begins when both partners work to honor their commitment to each other, to choose to care about each other, to continue to seek each other’s best interests and consciously choose to love that person above all else.
Building and committing to a stable relationship requires two whole people, already complete and happy in their lives, not two halves. It’s very easy to confuse the feeling of being ‘in love’ with love itself. Contrary to popular belief, true love is achieved over time and is actually a conscious choice, not something that just happens to you like the characters in our favorite romantic comedies.
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