California to outlaw black cars

March 26, 2:20 PMDC Republican ExaminerBill Dupray

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When the first Model T rolled off the assembly line, Henry Ford was asked what colors were available, to which he famously quipped, "You can get it in any color you want as long as it is black." A century later, California, the Mother of all Nanny States, is telling its citizens they can have any color they want as long as it is not black, or any other dark color, for that matter. You see, you thoughtless dark car owners are killing the planet because your car uses too much energy to cool the passengers. So it's light colored cars for the lot of you.

In a move that will likely get California's consumers in a huff, impending legislation may soon restrict the paint color options for Golden State residents looking for their next new vehicle. The specific colors that are currently on the chopping block are all dark hues, with the worst offender seemingly the most innocuous color you could think of: Black.

What could California possibly have against these colors, you ask? Apparently, the California Air Resources Board figures that the climate control systems of dark colored cars need to work harder than their lighter siblings – especially after sitting in the sun for a few hours. Anyone living in a hot, sunny climate will tell you that this assumption is accurate, of course. In fact, legislation already exists for buildings that has proven successful at reducing the energy consumption of skyscrapers.

So what about a red Corvette? Too dark? How about burgundy, or are we stuck with pink? And what about visitors to California? Will Grandpa have to pay a sin tax on his navy blue Cadillac when he visits from Nevada? With all of California's existing restrictive fuel economy standards on large cars, and now color restrictions on the cars you can buy, it seems that in California you can buy any car you want, as long as it is one of these.

Freedom is Number 1 on the endangered species list in California.