What do men say is sexy about women?

November 17, 11:15 PMSF Dating Advice ExaminerDeborrah Cooper

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Men appreciate a sexy woman.

Women dress, walk, talk and adorn themselves in ways that they think will be attractive to the opposite sex. Throughout history women have subjected themselves to painful rituals in order to be considered sexy and desirable by men.

The ancient Japanese bound women's feet, crippling them so that they could not walk. Various tattoos and markings have been used in Pacific Island and other cultures around the world to adorn the skin of the body.

Africans inserted stones in lips and earlobes, stretching them out of shape. In other African tribes, long thin necks were thought to be beautiful, so the women wore rings around their necks to stretch them (the more rings, the longer the neck and therefore the more desirable the woman).

In the U.S., women go on extreme diets to get thin; pierce lips, eyes, nostrils and nipples; or endure surgical procedures like breast enlargements, reductions, tummy tucks, facelifts and body waxing because they think men will find these physical modifications to be sexier.

Women will also roll out of their homes in the most minimal of clothing with their butts hanging out and everything showing. They think this is sexy and the only way to get a man's attention.

With the competition for men so fierce among females, just what is a girl to do?  A single woman wants to attract and keep a good man that finds her exciting. So just what DO men say is sexy?

What Do Guys Say is Sexy
Drinking coffee after a breakfast at Bechelli's on Chestnut, I started chatting with a guy who'd spent a month in a region of Egypt where the women wore burkas. " All you could see of them was their eyes." He went on to say "to me the eyes are the most powerful attraction that a woman has, but that's mainly used in close-range encounters. Things like hair, clothes and body catch a man's interest from far away. Eye color is not the most important thing. I think eye shape maybe. A man can drown in the right pair of eyes. The eyes are extremely sexy, and I left Egypt very hot and bothered and I'd seen nothing but EYES!"

One young guy wrote "a woman with a job and her OWN MONEY is the sexiest thing I can think of!" Seemed to get his blood boiling just to think about it.

"Women with georgous bodies and tiny little love handles is sexy."

"A natural and warm smile is almost like a hug – it's very welcoming. Fake or strained smiles don't get it."

"There's nothing sexier than a black woman – it's just the way they are. A nice smile, a pleasant speaking voice, and meat on da bones… I can't stand no skinny women!"

“I like women that are about 20 lbs over the weight on those insurance charts. I even like a little cellulite on firm shapely thighs. I like my woman to LOOK LIKE A WOMAN, not a twig.” This comment came in from an ex-Texan I sat next to on BART. I guess its true that they like everything bigger down there.

"A really nice scent on a woman circumvents all of that higher-level thinking and reaches men in a very visceral place. It shouldn't be too strong or too subtle. A woman has to find the right perfume for her body chemistry."

"A woman's voice is very sexy to me."

"All I can say is that these women walking around here all bony need to remember what dogs do to bones…they knaw on them and then bury them."

"A sharp wit balanced with an elegant demeanor is very sexy."

"A woman who feels sexy about herself, or who is sensual and confident is very sexy!"

Many men wrote and expressed a sentiment that is the direct opposite of the belief many women hold about their clothing – or lack thereof. Most men expressed the opposite sentiment: "Even though we like to LOOK at half dressed women, that doesn't mean it stirs me in the place a woman wants me to be stirred – my heart!"

Another young man held a similar viewpoint: "Understated vs. overstated is sexy – leave something to my imagination. The possibility and the calculation is what men like. Don't be so obvious, and definitely stop before you reach the level where guys are gonna think you are a skank."

"I'm a blue-eyed blonde, but I find women with dark, dark skin that glows in the sunlight to be ridiculously sexy."

Another dreadlocked brotha complained to me that Black women need to stop applying what they see in the mainstream media to themselves in relation to beauty, fashion, body image and as the criteria to judge what is or is not sexy.

What Isn't Sexy?
"Not sexy at all is someone who tries too hard to be sexy! Don't wiggle around and be so obvious with yourself. I had a woman come stand in front of me and bend over to pick up a pack of cigarettes she dropped. It was just nasty. Makes a woman look bad when they do all that."

A 19 year old student attending San Francisco State University told me:  "Women eager to please, bringing attention to themselves, always wanting to do the right thing, or just plain doting is definitely not sexy! Even young guys like me don't like doormats."

"Women with all them damn muscles…if I wanted to sleep with a hard body, I'd be gay! Women are supposed to be shapely, with softness and curves. I don't want somebody with yokes like mine!"

In summary, it seems from my totally unscientific research that what guys find most sexy is a woman with confidence and high self-esteem that values herself.  Couple that with a winning smile, a nice toned body (definitely not skinny) with womanly curves in the right place, dressed in flattering clothing that accents her femininity but leaves something to the imagination wins the prize!
 

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