Italian marriage: a man, his mistress, and finding “the one”

June 1, 3:39 AMLove and Marriage ExaminerRita Watson

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AP Photo of Italian Prime Minister and his angry wife

The beleaguered Italian Prime Minister is breathing a bit more easily today. A judge ruled that the photographs at his villa in Sardinia, taken on New Year’s Eve by a hiding paparazzi, violate his right to privacy. It was reported that there were young women at the party.

This is just another twist in the story of marriage and mistresses gone public. However, Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, 72, who has been linked with an 18-year-old who declares that she is still a virgin. Reuters.com

While Italians have long shrugged over the dalliances of their Prime Minister, the story is drawing significant media attention and a denouncement from the Catholic bishops.  It seems that taking one's marital troubles to the press, as did the Berlusconi's, is frowned up.

Reports say that Berlusconi's wife was particularly infuriated when her husband attended an 18th birthday party in Naples for the daughter of one of his business associates. However,  he has been linked with at least 10 women throughout his 30 year marriage as pictured in this story that follows: Marriage Italian style: a philandering Prime Minister, a teen beauty, and his angry wife

Arranged marriages, finding  "the one"

The excuse for mistresses or comares is arranged marriages at an early age. Men often say, "Our parents chose our wives, we choose our mistresses."

But here is a thoughtful look at the tradition of arranged marriages by Leo Buscaglia often considered the “love guru.”   He believes that we spend too much time in our search for "the one."

Aunt Agatha and the comares

My great Aunt Agatha prided herself on being married for 75 years and she had a diamond ring on each finger – gifts to her for allowing Guiseppe his afternoon “exercise.”

We often asked her why she had so many diamonds and she would say, “Some day, you will understand.”

Then as each of us married she took us aside and told us this story, which we began to hear often as she hit her 80's. “This was for your Uncle Guiseppe's exercise in Sicily. This for his exercise in Naples. These two, for the Marchietta twins -- Santa Maria, Santa Maria. Enough.  Silencia” she would say and then go off to her kitchen.

She had a diamond for each comare through the years and 10 children who will fiercely defend their father just as the PM's children are defending their father and suggesting that the scandal is politically motivated.

If you asked Aunt Agatha why she never left him during all those years of philandering, her eyes would fill with tears and she would say, "because he was the one, my one and only."

Copyright 2009 Rita Watson