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Music and libido stimulation (excludes Jessica Simpson songs)
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Researchers at Massachusetts General Hospital want you to enjoy your favorite songs...biblically. According to a recent study, listening to your favorite tunes stimulates the same areas of the brain as sex, enhancing the bliss factor during the act. It's no secret that music can have a positive effect on the mind and body; exercisers that have high energy music accompanying their intense cardio sessions report having more stamina (and thus, longer workouts) than those who sweat in silence. And music can act as a poor man's Prozac, easing symptoms of depression when the beat is soothing and pleasurable. With all these positive side effects, it's clear that you should schedule your day with the following format:
7:00 a.m. Climb on treadmill and curse your parents for the "big bones" they handed down to you. Turn on Ipod and start jogging. Curse parents again. Blast "Barbie Girl" and hope your volume's low enough so the jock next to you doesn't snicker. Let the beat propell your feet forward. Briefly consider going back to bed, but instead allow the profound lyrics about Barbie and her partying habits inspire you to reach your peak.
12:00 p.m. Lunch break. Mad because boss that's younger/inexperienced/grossly overpaid chewed you out in front of all the cute new interns. Storm over to Subway where you proceed to eat a sandwich. Angrily. Pause as a James Taylor song wafts from the overhead speakers. Close your eyes and relax. Decide that instead of quitting today you'll simply relieve yourself in your boss' desk drawer.
9:00 p.m. Smoke illegal substance with open-minded girlfriend. Kings of Leon "Sex on Fire" song blares on radio. Your thoughts switch from "I hope we aren't out of Fritos" to "My girlfriend should be naked right now." Sex ensues. Try and time orgasm with guitar solo. Fail, but enjoy yourself nonetheless.
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