Wedding Planning for a Great Marriage and the Wedding that will take you there

December 15, 9:30 PMPhiladelphia Marriage ExaminerAnn Keeler Evans

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OK, Disclaimer: Judith Sherven and Jim Sniechowski are mentors of mine and I adore them. Plus, I really admire their work. So, you'll forgive me if I'm enthusiastic!

In addition to writing columns about weddings, WP performs wedding ceremonies. I spend much of my time with couples doing two things: 1) reminding them that the wedding vows they'll exchange with one another should be the heart of their wedding day and 2) helping them remember that this is a wedding designed to create a marriage AND it's for the two of them. It is not simply the bride's special day.

So, what a joy it was when Judith and Jim came along with their great book: THE SMART COUPLE'S GUIDE TO THE WEDDING OF YOUR DREAMS: Planning Together for Less Stress and More Joy (New World Library, December 2005) which aims to provide new alternatives for the couple seeking to plan a wedding that will form the foundation for their marriage. They remind us:

• The groom is not an accessory to the wedding.
• It's important for grown-ups to pay for their own weddings
• There's no reason to go into debt for your wedding and there are good reasons not to.
• Both the bride and the groom can be engaged and wear rings. (WP says: Did you know that in Scandinavia when you get engaged both get one gold band and then when you get married you each get another gold band?)
• The wedding can support — even be based on — the couple's relationship and the marriage they're committing to.
• Weddings are not about glamour; they're about marriage.

Jim and Judith, married for 19 years, are best-selling relationship authors and a PhD psychology team. The Smart Couple’s Guide speaks to several new trends: it's the ONLY wedding book on the market for the couple, at a time when more and more couples are co-operatively sharing in planning, preparing, and paying for their wedding. And, it is the ONLY voice for the NEW GROOM -- “80% of grooms are now active co-partners in the planning of their weddings.” (TIME 10-3-05) That’s revolutionary. If you knew that planning your wedding together would heighten your chances of marital success, wouldn't you do this? That's Judith and Jim's prediction.   

This book takes you from your engagement through your honeymoon. It's an easy and fun read punctuated with nearly 150 heartfelt stories from brides, grooms, and couples around the country. Put it on your holiday wish list. Santa (there is TOO a Santa, so shut up!) would be happy to bring it for you. But you know, it might be better, given its topic, if you invested in it for yourself. Yep, go buy it.

You can't call the caterer over the holidays; they're busy having parties. Why not plan your marriage? There are short-term and long-term benefits to afternoons spent discussing the values and characteristics that will keep you falling in love over and over again.

One more way to move from "I do" to happily and healthily ever after.

(And remember, I need your help to keep this column current, sassy and useful. Write to me with Philadelphia wedding venues, products and services to explore. Put The Wedding Priestess in the subject line.)