Everything you ever wanted to know about an orgasm

July 5, 2:54 AMSan Antonio Sex and Relationships ExaminerMichele Gwynn

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Virtualmedicalcenter.com - Male urogenital anatomy

Everyone wants to experience one, but not everyone can achieve one. For some, the orgasm is an urban myth created to entice women into intercourse like a pyramid scam that never pays off. For others, it’s as easy as one, two, ohhhhh. So how does one climb to the mountain top, and reach the summit? What exactly happens during sex that causes this burst of pleasure? Like cooking up some good Cuban food, you have to have the right ingredients in just the right amounts. The end result is nirvana on the tip of your tongue, lip smacking, excuse me, sir; may I have another double delicious treat. The following information will provide a wealth of information that will blow your mind. Read on, absorb, and hopefully you will graduate this course Magna Cum Laude.

Let’s first look at the anatomy of the male orgasm. Evolution has provided men with the ability to propagate the species by allowing them to ejaculate during sex. Statistics show that 90% of men orgasm 100% of the time during sex. Only on rare occasions due to either stress, exhaustion or some underlying medical problem will a man fail to reach orgasm, and even in the case of stress and/or exhaustion, they will make a valiant effort and most likely achieve the end result.

How does it work for men? When men become aroused, blood rushes to the penis causing the erectile tissue to become engorged (like a tic), and stiffen up and elongate. This is commonly referred to as an erection, woody, boner, etc. Tactile stimulus to the scrotum, glans (the head), neck, and shaft overload the male brain with sensations causing the vas deferens to contract, which leads to contractions of the prostate gland and seminal vesicles. The release of their fluids propels the sperm up and out the urethra. Men can achieve orgasm often in five minutes or less, and after a short period of recuperation, can often do it all over again. Evolution has been kinder to men than to women when it comes to the ease in which they can climax.

How does it work for women? According to the experts, William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson, co-authors of Human Sexuality, this is what happens to a woman’s body both prior to and during orgasm. Again, arousal (which is more mental and emotional in women) causes blood to rush to the vagina. As a result, the clitoris and surrounding tissues become engorged (there’s that tic again), making those areas extremely sensitized to both touch and pressure. The vaginal walls begin to secrete a natural lubricant to prepare to ease the way for penetration. The lower portion of the inner vagina tightens so it may grip the penis as it enters. This has a two-fold effect of providing pleasure for both her, and him. Repeated friction builds up tension so great that the energy of that tension must be released out, causing the contraction of the muscles of the abdomen, thighs, buttocks, anus, and vagina. These muscles contract at a speed of 0.8 of a second per spasm. Amazing, right? So why can’t all women experience this fantastic phenomenon?

Many women have never experienced an orgasm. The reasons vary, but often this is due to an inability to let go. Women suffer performance anxiety, i.e. worry over how they look during sex or whether or not their partner is enjoying what they are doing. Women often fail to concentrate on themselves, and just breathe. Some women simply don’t know what exactly will work for them and are too afraid to express this to their partners. They feel embarrassed and unsure. They may blame themselves or, perhaps, blame their partner for not being able to read their mind and know what to do. The latter can lead to resentment which can inhibit the process further. What’s needed is a steady friction on either or both the vagina and clitoris combined with muscle tightening/tension, and mental relaxation. Women need to clear their minds in order to devote their focus to sex. Gentlemen, if the lady seems to be enjoying what you’re doing, don’t change positions; keep going!

Plato said it best when he said “know thyself”. The man was way ahead of his time. What could be more important than knowing who you are, and what you want? Every man and, especially, every woman needs to learn what works for them. Experiment with different positions, different types of touch. Don’t be afraid to try a few sex toys. Vibrators are a wonderful tool for women to use to learn what will work for them in the ways of achieving orgasm. Share this information with your lover. No need to keep him or her in the dark, fiddling around for the right combination to crack your safe. Including your partner in this journey of self discovery can create a stronger bond between the two of you.

Finally, create an environment of romance and sensuality to get in the mood. Take a relaxing, hot bath or shower together. Get out the scented oils and give each other a massage to ease the tensions of the day. Take the time to notice how your partner is responding to your efforts. Note what seems to increase his/her pleasure. Don’t be afraid to ask what he or she wants, and certainly, don’t be afraid to answer. The flow of unabashed communication between lovers can only improve the experience, and bring you both to a resounding, applause producing, encore deserving orgasm (or two, or three…).

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All articles by Michele Gwynn are under copyright and cannot be reposted without permission from the author.  For permission, please email megwynn@msn.com.