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Tattoos have made NBA almost unwatchable
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Birdman Chris Anderson
It sounds superficial. It probably is superficial. But, watching the NBA has become almost a chore for me, not because the talent is diluted and the art of great passing is all but gone, though it most certainly is, but because more than three quarters of NBA players have ugly tattoos.
Yes, I'm prejudiced against people with tattoos. I think they made a big mistake, I question their decision-making skills, and I think they probably lack in self esteem. I think a small tattoo on a sailor's forearm is okay, but more than a silver dollar size is too much. I think they make women look trashy, hence the word "tramp stamp," though Beyonce could have her whole body tattooed and she's still be gorgeous. I guess I just don't get it.
It's actually a novelty to find players who aren't tattooed. I can think of Dwight Howard, Tony Parker, and......does Wally Szerbiak have one?
I've been watching the conference finals the past week, and the games have been pretty exciting. Not many people would have guessed that the Orlando Magic would be a Lebron three-pointer away from leading three games to none. But....I can't get past these tattoos.
There are two players, one in each series, who must have OCTD--Obsessive Compulsive Tattoo Disorder. No matter how many tattoos they get, they need more, and no matter how ugly this "art" makes them look, they can stare into a mirror and think it looks good.
On the Cleveland Cavaliers, Delonte West looks like he belongs in a circus. After filling up both arms, West actually walked into a tattoo parlor and said, "stick some needles in my neck." It's hard to tell where one ends and another starts, but he has at least a dozen tattoos, and looks like a moron. Sorry, but he does.
In the West, the Denver Nuggets' Chris Anderson is nicknamed "birdman," supposedly because he can fly to the basket, and he flaps his arms after a big play. I actually think it's a good nickname because he looks like a peacock.
A friend of mine passed away last year, way too young, and his teenage son had a big tattoo put on his arm in remembrance of his dad, something he later admitted was the most painful thing he'd ever experienced. I immediately told my son, "Don't you ever do that if I go before my time." "But," my son said, "it would be a way to remember you." Hey, I changed his diapers a thousand times, taught him how to ride a bike, shoot a gun, catch a fish, throw a curveball, and have never missed one of his football games, basketball games, baseball games, band concerts or school conferences, and he needs an ugly tattoo on his arm to remember his old man? Hey, remember me, the old guy that pays the bills? You wanna remember me? Wear my favorite sweater, or my only nice watch, but don't scar your body forever.
Basketball, when played right, can be a thing of beauty. But, the two-bit punk attitudes, tattoos and chest-beating has made a great sport look like a thug convention.
The Indiana Pacers' Marquis Daniels had a tattoo of a man committing suicide (lovely), Gilbert Arenas has the words "change we believe in" on his fingers in honor of Barack Obama, Luke Walton has a tattoo in honor of the Grateful Dead, and Tim Duncan has a tattoo covering his chest in honor of the nerdy game Dungeons and Dragons. The most idiotic reason for getting a tattoo? Amare Stoudemire wins the award. The Sun's star claims that "if I died right now, my kids could get to know me by my tats." Uh, Amare, why don't you just talk to your kids!
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Delonte West knifes his way through two
heavily-tattooed defenders
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