I'm going to be frank here. We're all going to go sometime... and I probably should be packing for warm weather. Know what I mean?
And what's worse is that if my eternal elevator only has a down button, I know exactly what I'm going to hear as I walk into my room:
".... and the first game of 1997 is in the books. The final score from Madison Square Garden is the New York Knicks 81, the Miami Heat 76."
I can see it now. A big sports bar with nothing but warm, ultra-light beer, no buffalo wings, no men's room, and big TV's with nothing but mid-'90s Knicks-Heat basketball. If that's not hell, I don't know what is.
That Knicks-Heat rivalry nearly ruined basketball. The slow, plodding, brutish thug-fests that Pat Riley tried to pass off as basketball made the game almost impossible to watch. We were one season away from official NBA barf bags in the online store. Get my point? It was gross. And don't think the NBA has purged those toxins from its system yet. One look at the Kevin Garnett suspension and it's pretty clear that we're still feeling the effects.
Kevin Garnett was suspended for tonight's game against the Knicks because of this play.
I've heard people say that it's an obvious call. Slap a guy in the face, sit out for a game. Except for the fact that KG got popped in the mouth himself, and when he flailed his arm out, he wasn't looking at Andrew Bogut. If Garnett had turned and slapped Bogut in the face, then I'd agree that he lost his cool and he should be suspended. But he had just been hit twice. When KG made his move, Bogut's elbow was still at eye level. Only when Bogut moved his arm did Garnett's hand make it to his face. But in the NBA's infinite wisdom, they found it suitable for him to sit.
The whole flagrant foul/suspension system was born from those disgusting brawls the NBA tried to pass off as the Knicks-Heat rivalry. Pat Riley (and Jeff Van Gundy, for that matter) knew that the only way his team could win was to send a collection of borderline dirty thugs out onto the floor. Their marching orders were to slow the game down, hit everyone, and grind out a few extra points at the end. It led to so many altercations that the NBA had to change the rules to start suspending people for instigating flare-ups. Welcome to the flagrant foul system. Now we're all paying for it.
Just look at Shaquille O'Neil's play on Rodney Stuckey.
Shaq was going for the ball. Stuckey's a small guy. He unfortunately hit the ground very hard, but it was clear that there was no intent to hurt Stuckey there. But the refs don't judge the foul, they're judging the way the player falls. Stuckey hit the deck hard, and Shaq got tossed with a flagrant 2. Horrible call. If Stuckey had gotten his hands down and popped back up, Shaq would have stayed in the game.
Somewhere along the way, the NBA stopped considering "intent" when doling out its punishment. Even the most serious crimes in America have lesser degrees of punishment if it was shown there was no intent. But in this child's game of basketball, the NBA is enforcing ridiculous policy out of fear that any altercation will give the league a black eye. Now, some fans who could only afford to go to one game this season will head to the Garden, and KG won't be there.
Congratulations, David Stern. Score another one for the almighty NBA.