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I’m sorry to the gods of COOL-KIDS-AND-MASS-CONSUMERISM, but TWILIGHT is just not my thing. I have absolutely nothing to say about it, and I don’t much care for the fact that there is a sequel already in the works.
I’m also not even thinking about the supposed/rumoured/impending death of Batman, because killing off superhero’s that have been around longer than Cable TV is just major fail on behalf of the comic book industry-at-large.
So while everyone else is fake-raving about a teenage vampire love story, or how Bruce Wayne’s going to bite the dust, I would like to take this opportunity to suggest you make your week a far more entertaining, enlightening and stress free (before that thing they call Christmas), five to seven days, by immersing yourself in the following:
1) Read UMBRELLA ACADEMY-Apocalypse Suite! Yes, you heard me right. Go to your nearest Newbury comics, Borders, New England Comics or Barnes & Noble and buy the TPB edition. You will love me for turning you on to this gem. Seriously. Gerard Way (of MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE) and Gabriel Ba are the masterminds behind this awesomeness of awesome. Dark Horse is always pushing out some of the best shizz out there, as far as comics are concerned and this one does not disappoint. Forty-seven children are born, inexplicably and spontaneously with superpowers---Village of the damned-style. Seven of those children are adopted by a rich inventor and raised as superheroes. I could go on, but seriously, you don’t want me spoiling this for you. Just. Go. Get. A. Copy.
2) Play LEFT 4 DEAD. Because zombies rule! This first-person-shooter game is as gory as it gets. It’s like being in a live-action zombie film. You’re never alone…because you have three other buddies. You work as a team to annihilate as many brain eaters as it takes to survive. You’ll need all the help you can get because these zombies are fast and furious, not slow and…er, brain dead. You’ve got an arsenal of cool weapons too. (Gotta love the pipe bombs). Play this game.
3) Watch PRIMEVAL. Yeah, it’s British. Yeah, it’s a BBC original. Yeah, the guys that did the creature effects also did the WALKING WITH…DINOSAURS effects. Yeah, this show is about inexplicable monsters, tears in the fabric of time, conspiratorial gov’t agencies and awesome scientists with crazy ex-wives. I found this show on Comcast ON DEMAND and I’ve been hooked ever since. Watch it. Then go back and watch it from the beginning, since SERIES 1 & 2 is now on DVD. You can thank me later.
4) Listen to KANYE WEST- 808’s & HEARTBREAK. I suspect Keezy is a hardcore scifi geek at heart. How else to explain the tracks on his latest masterpiece? It’s like a soundtrack to an epic love story spanning galaxies. Imagine the hero of the story, chillaxin’ in his spaceship, somewhere between Mars and the Kuiper belt. Suddenly, he gets a signal from somewhere near the Andromeda Galaxy. It’s a distress signal from some Space Princess. She needs his help. Only she’s also his ex-girlfriend who left him for a robot lover named Mxzlptlyztl. Yeah, okay…so…maybe that’s not what Kanye was thinking when he wrote all those tracks, but I bet when you listen to it, you’ll have a space opera of your own in your head. (listen here.)
So, frak Black Friday. People already own too much crap. Get out this weekend and buy yourself all of the above and consider it money well spent.
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