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Lauren Conrad Examiner

The campaign for a Lauren Conrad free MTV

June 24, 11:57 AMLauren Conrad ExaminerDaniel Quintanilla
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Courtesy: usmagazine.com

At MTV, we take pride in to putting our shareholders first, and our viewers last. We started this effort last year by changing The Hills with more of Speidi, Lo, Stephanie, and so forth; and less of what make The Hills successful, Lauren Conrad.  Along with The Hills, we created shows that will turn the baby boomers and generation X off such as The Paper, My Super Sweet Sixteen Presents: Exiled, Legally Blonde: The Search of Elle Woods, From G's to Gents, Paris Hilton's My New BFF, and so forth.  We've already had success in fulling the so-called Obama Generation/ Bill and Belinda Gates requirement by creating shows that have to do with empowerment like Made, Taking The Stage, The Girls of Hedsor Hall, Bromance, Daddy's Girls, The City, and The Real World: Brooklyn.  And don't forget College Life, the cheapest show ever seen on MTV.  And are we stopping here?  No.  We're just getting started.  We've already looked to the future by creating new MTV shows just for the millennials with DJ and The Fro, Is She Really Going Out With Him?, Silent Library, and It's On With Alexa Chung.  And we've got more news that you've been waiting for, we've got more of The Hills.  Expect to see more Lo, Stephanie, Speidi, and Audrina than ever before.  Plus, the latest edition of Kristin Cavallari will surely make The Hills as unappealing as ever to viewers, but not to our shareholders.  And the biggest news of all, coming to our sister-network VH1, the return of Jessica Simpson in a brand new reality series proving that beauty is skin-deep.  As you can see, we at MTV are working very hard to displease our viewers now more than ever, and sticking to our shareholder credo, if people hate it, keep it going, if people love it, change it so people can hate it.  Why play music videos or center The Hills around Lauren Conrad when we can create shows that people love to hate and destroy our loyalty, and buzz in the long run.  MTV is very committed to sticking to what we do best, pissing the world off so we can be the victims of our own success.  MTV: it's all about us, not you.

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