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Ed Kelley's "Flaming Lips" Supports the Hammer & Sickle
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By Dr. Goose: (An occasional contributor to the Oklahoma Political News Service)
If you are a political junkie, you have to love the Flaming Lips controversy, but you got to love the moonbat reactions even more.
You know the short story: rockers The Flaming Lips go to the Capitol. One member shows up wearing a commie t-shirt and House members protest by voting down a resolution proclaiming one of their songs the official rock and roll tune. Governor Henry, whose only sighting until recently had been on milk cartons, trumps the House and signs an executive order fixing the slight. All Hades breaks loose.
Now like most Oklahomans with lives, I hadn’t paid much attention to this tempest. Then I heard about the video daily newspaper editor/anchor(??) Ed Kelley made which ripped the House for its actions. I watched it and I agree: Ed Kelley is out of his gourd.
Let’s get one thing straight: it’s clear the sour-looking Kelley is not exactly a happy camper. It's said he doesn’t have much stroke at the paper anymore (as if anybody cares) and he’s stuck making awful videos nobody watches. He wears bad looking suits (I’m sure they’re haute couture, but they’re just too progressive for us hicks to understand), has a haircut only Rod Blagojevich could appreciate with the looks and delivery of a mortician doing screen tests for pre-planned funeral commercials.
I know OKPNS has made a lot of sport of this guy in the past, but a quick check of this guy’s work reveals that he takes himself very seriously. Further, he’s the perfect caricature of angry progressives who think the whole world is stupid and would be much better off if they ran things. And there’s one other comical point: Kelley knows a thing or two about lips: his flaming liberal lips are usually parked on the big old white butts of Oklahoma’s richest jerks. Maybe after all these years it probably tastes like chicken.
So “Fast Eddie,” as OKPNS calls him, runs out this snarling, sarcastic piece telling us dumb Okies how proud we should be of a rock musician from a band most of us never heard of and his commie flag t-shirt. Why? Because the band is from Oklahoma and they’re great ambassadors and blah, blah, blah. Oklahomans must be so proud of this weirdo’s picture in his commie shirt being spread all across the world. At last Will Rogers and Stalin finally meet.
Kelley’s rationale is that the shirt is a symbol of a regime that’s been gone for two decades and is “out of business.” To Kelley, Oklahomans need to be tolerant to those who wear offensive apparel in order to get good PR for the state and show our diversity and hipness. So the Kelley Principle is this: no matter how offensive a symbol is, just wear it and anybody who objects is a dumb hick.
So I thought it would be fun to apply Kelley’s logic, tolerance and diversity to some real life situations. Let’s call it the “Comrade Fast Eddie Kelley’s Top 3 Offensive Symbols You Should Wear To Make You Seem Really Hip & Cool, Just Like Him, and Screw You If You Don’t Like It" list.
First, Commie Cool.
Kelley pretty much covered this one in his video. Since communists have only killed about 70 million in China, 30 million in the Soviet Union and destroyed dozens of cultures in such places as Cuba, Tibet, Cambodia and Vietnam, they top the list of folks he wants symbolized by Oklahoma role models. With their death toll only topping 100 million, it’s easy to see the House of Representatives overreacted. And to think I believed that Reagan fellow and his “Evil Empire” rap all these years.
Second, Nazi Hipness.
According to Kelley Principle's death tolls and statute of genicidal limitations, the next best item to be worn in the house gallery to show Okie tolerance would be a t-shirt with a swastika. Now the Nazi’s were veritable amateurs compared to the Communists when it comes to genocide since historians think all deaths attributed to Hitler are at only about 42 million. So maybe the person in the middle of the controversial photo, (we’re not sure if it’s an ugly woman or a Perez Hilton wannabe girly man), should be sporting a swastika. Forget the fact that the swastika is a symbol of evil incarnate and to Jews symbolizes the 6 million lost to the holocaust. According to Kelley, since the commies are “out of business” it should be okay to sport a swastika since the commies put the Nazi’s “out of business” in 1945. So trust Eddie: slap on a Nazi symbol and head on over to your neighbor’s next bar mitzvah and watch those Jewish folks fall in line with his gospel of new tolerance,. Or maybe not.
Third, No Ban on the Klan.
Here’s the one we want Kelley to do himself: pull on a KKK symbol t-shirt and see if black people are offended, thus confirming their intolerance.
Heck the Klan never really ran things like the Communists and the Nazis. We might find out this will irritate a lot of folks, and reveal whether or not African Americans are as intolerant and hickey as the white hayseeds Kelley rails against.
This is one modeling job we’d like to see Kelley do himself: wear his KKK shirt and walk the runway down around 23rd and Lottie. It would be the ultimate test of whether black people would prove to be hip, cool and tolerant and just let it ride, or maybe they would commence to beat his dumbass because they mistakenly react to a symbol that signifies a terrorist organization that still wants to exterminate black people. Dressing up Kelley like a Klansman and sending him to the black community dressed as a Wizard would be the ultimate test of the Kelley Principle don’t you think? We hope African Americans would be up to the Ed Kelley's moral challenge.
So that’s our top three. And one last thing about the picture: we know all you Photoshoppers out there are going to work on the flapping lips photo and that something really funny is going to be put on that pink sweater ugly girl/boy is wearing. But let me suggest you put a symbol on the guy on the left that perfectly defines the voice of the state’s most trusted source for moon-bat views:
Related:
Dr. Goose “Press I Guess” an Ode to the Capitol Press Corps
