RSS
Home
The obligatory 4th of July article
Print
Email
RSS
Subscribe
.jpg)
There’s a war in Afghanistan and Iraq. North Korea is testing missiles. Drug cartels continue to decimate regions in Mexico, Central and South America. California literally has no money and Sarah Palin is resigning as governor of Alaska. Over the past week, however, it appears that there are only two topics worthy of our attention: Michael Jackson and the 4th of July. I did my Michael Jackson article, so….hmmm….
All right, look, if you’re pregnant (or adopting) and planning on having the baby this weekend, try and resist the temptation to name your child “Independence” or “Liberty”. “July” (which would be pronounced like “Julie”) probably wouldn’t be good either. “Hancock” would be a little obscure. “Star” is so-so, and “Stripe” should definitely be out of the question. You see, here in Los Angeles, finding uncommon (I’m being kind) baby names is like shooting fish in a barrel: much too easy. Let’s not make fun, though. It is a parent’s right, a personal choice, to name their child. It should be no skin off anyone’s back if your neighbor’s daughter is named “Pillow”. (Although, as a side note, if you lived in Denmark or the Mexican state of Chihuahua, you’d be subject to government approval if you wanted to name your son “Dogbreath” or “Chrysanthemum”.)
Why bring this up now? Because it appears that everything else pertaining to July 4th has been addressed. (If you don’t know where to watch fireworks by now, check out these other Examiner.com pages). AND I met twins recently named Holly and Ivy who were born on Christmas day. Yesterday, there was a pregnant woman at the grocery store, looking like her water was about to break. She was standing next to a July 4th display and I was suddenly worried for her unborn, nameless child.
Besides, when you give your baby an unusual name, you and the child have to s-p-e-l-l that name for the rest of your lives. Then another family decides their little daughter should be “Lucy” and suddenly they’re forced to spell (is that L-u-c-e-y? L-e-w-c-i-e?), because no on really trusts that a parent in Los Angeles could possibly be so, well, ordinary. Surely, they must be from out of town.
So, if over the next few days, you find yourself giving birth or know someone who is, stop before the baby is named “Serena” or “Venus”, unless you’re prepared to pay for tennis lessons while they’re still in diapers.
Speculation is rampant as to why Sarah Palin is stepping down, but maybe she’s just exhausted from spelling her children’s names.
Happy July 4th! If you haven’t read the Declaration of Independence lately, take a few minutes and check it out. Brilliant.
Related Articles:
Comments
