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Parents have no effect on kids behavior, says scientist
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Do moms and dads make a difference?
Judith Rich Harris, an independent researcher, has just published an updated version of her provocative 1998 book, "The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do." In it, she argues that parents are far less important than their kids' peer groups when it comes to how kids turn out.
In an interview with Scientific American, Harris answers some questions about her controversial ideas. When asked why we are so convinced that parents must matter, she says it's a relatively new idea. "The belief that parents have a great deal of power to determine how their children will turn out is actually a rather new idea. Not until the middle of the last century did ordinary parents start believing it," she said. "I was born in 1938, before the cultural change, and parenting had a very different job description back then. Parents didn’t feel they had to sacrifice their own convenience and comfort in order to gratify the desires of their children. They didn’t worry about boosting the self-esteem of their children. In fact, they often felt that too much attention and praise might spoil them and make them conceited."
Harris goes on to argue that though parenting styles have changed quite a bit, kids are still turning out the same way. "People are the same as ever. Despite the reduction in physical punishment, today’s adults are no less aggressive than their grandparents were. Despite the increase in praise and physical affection, they are not happier or more self-confident or in better mental health."
So what does matter, in Harris' opinion? Well, at home, parents do influence how their kids behave, but outside the home, teachers are crucial, she says. Teachers influence whether kids are pro-learning and pro-school. If they can keep kids from turning into anti-school kids, something that Harris says is easier in classrooms with fewer kids, then those children will continue to thrive.
Overall, I have some problems with this whole theory. Certainly, there is good evidence that who kids hang out with matters, but she essentially says the whole responsibility for society rests on the backs of our teachers. While teachers do matter immensely, it is unfair to hand over the entire job of raising a generation of kids to them (although they do deserve better pay for the huge job they do).
Ironically, it is teachers who can know the most that parents matter. Teachers can tell which kids have parents able to spend time with them after school, which kids are afraid of their parents, which kids are completely ignored by them. Parents do have an impact on kids, and teachers will tell you that.
The truth is, most people turn out ok because humans are resilient. But to argue that there is no residual impact of how our parents treat us just makes no sense. How do I know? I learned from my parents.
Read the more about it: Do Parents Matter?
Via: Jezebel
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