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Suze Orman named commerce secretary

January 11, 5:41 PMSeattle Political Satire ExaminerC. Y. Bermant
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Trade subsidies? Denied!!!

CNN' s Suze Orman has been nominated as the new Commerce Secretary, marking the second time in a week that a high visibility correspondent from the all-news network was tapped for a post in the Obama administration.

"Suze is a great choice," said incoming White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel. "She is a natural to provide the office's prime directive, to to foster, promote, and develop the foreign and domestic commerce. And even better, she's from Chicago."

Orman, a powerful personality who has built her empire dispensing personal finance advice, is said to be a good fit for commerce due to her motivational abilities and fiscal common sense.

Last week Obama tapped CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta as Surgeon General. Like Gupta, Orman's biggest concern is taking a cut in pay. She also allegedly held out for the Office of Management and Budget position, since it would allow her to shout "denied!" in response to budget requests. She was mollified, after a transition team official explained that as Commerce Secretary she would still have plenty of opportunity to use her trademark catch phrase. 

Orman's nomination was delayed a day when a press release had to be recalled for the mistaken statement "Orman will add diversity to the cabinet because she is a Lebanese." She is actually Jewish.

This is satire.  That Larry King seriously asked Orman what she would do if she was named to head OMB is completely coincidental.

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