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Palin abandons Alaska, cites 'politics as usual'
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With a political resume as thin as her waistline, American beauty Sarah Palin suddenly claimed independence from her gubernatorial responsibilities.
That's right, folks. Palin has left the mansion.
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(Editor's note: I knew this would be an Independence Day to remember! This is way better than that North Korean attack on Hawaii we were all expecting to happen during our beer-and-barbecue festivities.)
The Alaskan governor -- who, while John McCain's running mate in last year's election, criticized then-Sen. Barack Obama for lacking "actual responsibilities" in government -- announced Friday she will resign her office July 25.
Palin cited her victimization of "the politics of personal destruction" in her home state. Responding to several ethical accusations, the governor said she's now "looking at more than half a million dollars in legal bills just in order to set the record straight."
Sarah's out. Out of order, and out of ideas. If she thinks a Presidential run in 2012 following a departure from a mere 30 months in politics marred with ethics complaints makes sense, then Palin might be more deluded than we had ever thought.
Quitting office will do nothing to stifle even Republicans who denounce Palin's aimless political wish list.
"If you can't even handle a governorship, there's no way you can handle the White House," one former Palin supporter told the New York Daily News.
"She couldn't win, but now she can't even run."
Somebody grab the fireworks, because Sarah the Surrenderer has forever claimed independence; in a day's time she's managed to abandon her state, her supporters and, to a certain degree, her soul.
Happy 4th, everyone. God really has blessed America.
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