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Born In Arizona, Moved to Babalonya
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During a tour inside the Great Pyramids in Egypt, President Barack Obama noticed a drawing on the wall which looked just like him. Told the drawing represented an ancient god, Obama replied, "So it is me!"
Barack Obama isn't the first American President to bear a resemblance to an ancient god. Monica Lewinsky used to say the second Hillary Clinton left the room... Bill had more hands than Vishnu.
It's only fitting that Barack Obama would visit the Great Pyramids. With his economic policies, Obama is the Great Pyramid Schemer.
North Korea's "Dear Leader," Kim Jong-il, has named his youngest son, Kim Jong Un, to be his eventual successor. Kim Jong Un is rumored to be a heavy drinker, so he'll be referred to as "Dear 1.75 Liter."
Actress Denise Richards has admitted to Howard Stern that she's had three breast-augmentation procedures. After hearing the interview... Charlie Sheen replied, "At least now I can admit that the thing that attracted me to Denise were her luscious three boobies."
Shock-Rocker Marilyn Manson says he paid for a lap dance for his own Dad at the Crazy Horse Stripper Bar in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Manson said it wasn't the first time he paid for a lap dance for a family member. When he was a boy, he'd do them for his little brother, and then leave himself five dollars on the dresser.
First-season "American Idol" winner, Kelly Clarkson, says she's tired of hearing "the fat joke." Get plenty of rest Kelly, you'll need it.
"American Idol" winner, Kelly Clarkson's latest album, "All I Ever Wanted," has been an unbridled success... Although it should have been named, "All I Ever Wanted to Eat."
Kelly Clarkson recently told an interviewer that she has absolutely "no desire" to have kids. She's totally satisfied just LOOKING pregnant all the time.
Kelly Clarkson recently told an interviewer that she has absolutely "no desire" to have kids. Kelly swears that she does like children...but only when they're deep-fried and stuffed with cheese.
Kelly Clarkson's latest single, "My Life Would Suck Without You," has gone platinum. She's following it up with a new one, "My Life Would Suck Without Liposuction."
Kelly Clarkson says she enjoys sitting around the house naked, even if she has people over. And when Kelly Clarkson sits around the house, she sits around the house.
Kelly Clarkson says she enjoys sitting around the house naked, even if she has people over. Ryan Seacrest and Clay Aiken said, "No wonder her couch smelled funny the night we slept over... "
Kelly Clarkson says she enjoys being naked in her house, even if she has people over. Kelly, the people don't want to be there. They've just gone blind and can't find the door.
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