It's time to fire that management consultant. James has replaced him or her with two verses. My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. James 1:19-20 (NIV)
As a trainer-consultant, as a program manager, as a commanding officer, and as an Inspector General--I can confirm that the primary source of problems in most organizations is listening. There is a world-wide consulting industry built around a world that subsidizes poor listening. Most of us claim to be good listeners, but seldom have we put the skill to the test. If you are truly listening, neither your mouth nor your mind will engage with counter argument at the first point of disagreement. I've read a great deal of the literature about the importance of listening to understand. In most cases, this is only a Band-Aid on a gushing wound. Current management doctrine has it backwards. We must want to understand before we listen. James tells us to be quick to listen. This is not a technique. It is a state of consonance between our heart and our mind. It means we are receptive. It says my first choice is always listening because I want to understand.
James also tells us to be slow to speak. I can't stand to be cut off in mid-sentence, especially in a conversation that is based in opposing points of view. When I'm cut off, I know that the other person isn't listening and that both my words and my efforts are wasted. There is one thing worse than being cut off, and that's when I catch myself cutting off someone else. It's not because I didn't have the repertoire of skills. It's because I was lacking the motivation to listen. Something was driving me to answer quickly without regard to what the other person had to say. Whatever that something might be--anger, insecurity, pride, or anything else--I don't like it in the driver's seat. Yes, one of the things that comes not back is the spoken word. Be slow to speak is exceptional counsel.
The final piece of counsel is to be slow to become angry. Part of what we look at in the teaching of thinking skills is the link between emotion and logic. Both are essential to thinking; however, as soon as we tie our emotion to our logic, we have anchored ourselves to a position and will fight for it at costs disproportionate to its value. Anger is not necessarily bad, but coming too quickly to anger is dangerous. Nothing will stifle communications like an individual that is quick to anger. Seldom will anything of value be discussed in his presence over concern that his anger will again erupt. James also counsels us that our anger will not bring about God's righteousness. If we think that our anger can set things right, we're just wrong.
If you didn't have a leadership, management, or organizational development consultant before, you do now. Put James 1:19-20 on your heart and in your mind. It's long term consulting advice that you have to pay for only if you don't use it.
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Do you like to be challenged? See what this does for you.
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