The preverbial PB&J sandwich. Photo: ehow.com
Thought this was great and just had to share! From tumblr. Libby’s sandwich is my favorite.
How To Make a Sandwich on the Island:
Jack
1. Gather ingredients
2. Point gun at ingredients and shout “HOW DO I MAKE A SANDWICH OUT OF YOU?!?!?”
3. Breathe heavily through your nose as though you were about to hit ingredients
4. Give up and make the sandwich yourself, and eat it bitterly
Kate
1. Make separate sandwiches, one with peanut butter and one with jelly
2. Take a bite of the peanut butter sandwich, declaring it the best
3. Take a bite of the jelly sandwich, declaring it the best
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 ad infinitum
5. Follow peanut butter or jelly sandwich into grave danger
Sawyer
1. Throw the jar of jelly at wall, sneering “I don’t need no sandwich”
2. Call the mascot on the jar of peanut butter lots of clever nicknames
3. Huff and puff and stomp around and grumble a lot
4. When no one’s looking, make perfect, even, symmetrical peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sit in a corner, enjoying every bite
Locke
1. Sit idly by, believing that the ingredients will find a way to make a sandwich out of themselves
2. Lose faith and make the sandwich anyway
3. Realize that you were the instrument by which the ingredients chose to make a sandwich after all
4. Run around the room and grab everyone’s knives, insisting that their sandwiches will do the same in time
Hurley
1. Make sandwich
2. Eat sandwich
3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 ad infinitum
Sayid
1. Procure 23 milligrams of uranium-20
2. Set hadron supercollider to eight megajoules
3. Program a sandwich-making macro using Cobol or Visual Basic
4. Act all tough-like
Desmond
1. Eat sandwich
2. Call the sandwich “brother”
3. Place peanut butter slice over jelly slice
4. Spread jelly on the other slice
5. Spread peanut butter on one slice
6. Take two slices of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly
Ben
1. Steal someone else’s sandwich
2. Claim you coerced them into making the sandwich for you all along
3. Say you’ll tell them everything if they make you another sandwich
4. Stare at them all creepy-like
Libby
1. Lay out plans for one of the most intricate, fascinating, and delicious sandwiches of all time
2. Just as you start making it, get shot
Danielle
1. Apply peanut butter
2. Disappear for eight months
3. Apply jelly
4. Disappear for eight months
5. Eat sandwich
Claire
1. Mmmmmmm, peanut butter
Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse
1. Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
2. Have someone take a bite, then tell them it’s a baloney sandwich
3. Make up a whole bunch of other shit, then say you had planned it all along
4. Buy a few yachts
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Comments
So true LOL
HAH!
This is so clever! I love it!
what about charlie and jacob
Charles Widmore would buy a very expensive sandwich at auction, act as if he were about to share it with you, and then say you're not worthy of his sandwich.
For three years, Desmond had to make a new sandwich every 108 minutes or the world would end. It was the only great thing he ever did.
Locke got his sandwich from Richard. He held onto it, went back in time, and then gave it to Richard so that Richard could give it to him.
Daniel Faraday would make but never eat his sandwich, storing it in a safe deposit box at Oxford so it could act as his constant.
Jacob had a sandwich handed to him by God himself.
But Ms. Hawking would make you realize that, no, you DON'T MAKE THE SANDWICH.
(P.S. Chris Tucker, I like your name.)
Jin - makes a Korean sandwich
Sun - makes a sandwich but doesn't tell her husband that she speaks English
Miles - makes a sandwich, kills the sandwich, then talks to the dead sandwich
charlie warns everyone that the sandwich on the freighter is "NOT PENNY'S SANDWICH" so... it's up in the air. first one to the freighter gets a free sandwich.
mikhail has a very hard time making sandwiches, because he has issues with depth perception, and they always turn out gross. but no one ever eats them anyway, because he kicks them in the face before they get a chance.
walt can make sandwiches with his mind, just by thinking about them.
and last, but not least...
frank lapidus makes a damn good sandwich.
And Libby can take solace in Dr. Arzt's similarly interrupted sandwich-making process.
1. Lay out two slices of bread.
2. Spread pean--ka-BOOOOMM!!!!
This is fantastic!!!!
i want jack's sandwich
PROVERBIAL. PROVERBIAL sandwich.
Also, it's really NOT that hard to link directly to the blog post you stole, instead of linking to a Tumblr category. I'd link it myself if this comment form didn't stop me from posting URLs. Here's the best I can do:
fyamnky.tumblr.com/post/324403933/how-to-make-a-sandwich-on-the-island
AWESOME! :)
Ingredients
1. jar of peanut butter
2. jar of jelly
3. 2 slices bread
4. Chuck Norris
Step 1: Have Chuck Norris roundhouse kick the lids off the jars
Step 2: sandwhich then forms itself out of fear of Chuck Norris
STep 3: Quickly give the sandwhich to Chuck Norris before he roundhouse kicks you to the face
Absolutely inspired!
F-ing hysterical!
Dear spellcheck and credit (if that is, indeed, your real name),
I thank you for catching my spelling mistake, but am offended by your insinuation that I stole the referenced blog post. I shared this material and sourced the link provided by Google Alerts. The link you created does not point to the same source.
And btw, if you’ll run a check of your own, you’ll actually find spell-check or spell check to be correct.
Hope you enjoyed the read anyway.
I'd like a double-decker Jack and Sawyer sammie...
I'd like a double-decker Jack and Sawyer sammie
There needs to be a Charlie sandwich! But i'm still lmao :D Hhahahahahahahaha
"Spellcheck and credit" may have jumped down your throat a bit, but I'm not sure there's any denying that the link he/she posted is the same as the content you've reproduced here. Perhaps you could change it, if only for 15-year-old Phil's sake (poor Phil!). And after all, tumblr.com/tagged/damon+lindelof is indeed only a category, which no longer points to this content...at all. Great find, though!
It wouldn't hurt to properly credit the painter of the image, either.
Charlie:
1. Make sandwich.
2. Fall in love with sandwich.
3. Spend several months trying not to let anyone else get near sandwich.
4. Right before eating sandwich, drown.
sun:
make sandwich.
eat someone's sandwich.
confess your sandwich is better.
Michael:
1. Make sandwich.
2. Lose custody of sandwich.
3. Spend the rest of your life running through the woods yelling, "SANDWICH! SANDWICH! SANDWICH!!!!!"
4. Become hated by everyone.
Sun:
1. Make sandwich.
2. Don't tell anyone you have a sandwich for a really, really long time.
3. Suddenly explosively reveal that you have a sandwich.
4. Look hot in a bikini.
Wow! Spell check is a D-bag. Uhhh, spell check, if you happen to see this comment, do me a favor. Look at the date of the first comment on this blog. (it's 1/7) Now look at the date on the blog you posted (it's 1/8). I think you owe some one an apology....
Miles:
1. Be asked to make a sandwich
2. Say, "I can't, it doesn't work that way."
3. Get money and/or roughed up.
4. Convulse a bit.
5. Make sandwich.
All:
1. Make Sandwich
2. Eat Sandwich
3. Regret Eating Sandwich, resolve to change space-time to recover sandwich
4. Go back in time, blow up a nuclear bomb in an attempt to change having eaten the sandwich.
Jacob:
1. Grow grain, peanuts, grapes and make ingredients by hand.
2. Get a bunch of strangers to come to your island and make the sandwich for you.
3. Just before sandwich is completed, get stabbed and incinerated.
Awesome article hahaha
This is great!!
Charles Widmore:
Buy peanut farm
Buy fruit orchard
Buy wheat farm
Buy mercenaries to kill any and all indigenous populations that may be living on these lands.
Buy mill for crushing all of people’s hopes and dreams into flour
Buy Bakery and put all employees on the street
Buy Zoey the “ugly Tina Fey” to make your sandwich
Boone
1. Furrow eyebrows and purse lips at bread
2. Tell the bread you never work out as you spread jelly and peanut butter on it
3. But really you do
4. Get badly injured when Mr. Echo’s brother’s plane falls off the cliff.
5. Realize rather stupidly that it wasn’t probably a good idea to make your sandwich in there.
6. Die, but show up here and there for the next few years as a hallucination or ghost so the females can still have a taste of your angst-ridden, sexy visage
Richard:
1. Make sandwich in 1633
2. Make sandwich in 1745
3. Make sandwich in 1836
4. Make sandwich in 1932
5. Make sandwich in 2
Jacob
1. Send Richard to make your sandwich
2. When he’s finished get killed by the Black Smoke
3. Go to Hurley as a ghost and tell him he needs to find the sandwich Richard has made or everyone is going to die
4. Secretly eat the sandwich
Daniel Farraday:
1. Obtain PhD in "sandwichry"
2. Measure the molecular weight of peanut butter, jam, and bread
3. Test your sandwiches on lab rats named after your mother
4. Teach Desmond how to avoid choking on sandwich
5. Get shot by mother, mother eats sandwich
Asian Video Darhma Guy
1. make a video about how to make the sandwich
2. declare how important that sandwich is to make
Hey Kristy, Thanks. I'm still laughing, two hours later! My wife and I are LOST junkies and have been lost (no pun intended) without my weekly fix of Ben Linus and Jack "We Gotta go BACK" Sheppard. It's hard to believe that such a brilliant show is gone. However, how far could it have gone? I forget, writing news for the Examiner, that there is a fun and mysterious world out there. I think I go throw the first season of LOST on and start watching it from the beginning, all over again! Thanks!
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