This is what their typical home looks like.
Are Big 4 employees nothing more than a modernized form of indentured servants?
I think so.
Over the past month, I've had the pleasure of sitting on a floor full of accounting employees and consultants. Some of them internal, but most are from PricewaterhouseCoopers, Deloitte, Ernst & Young, and KPMG. For some reason, my employer hires all of them. In massive quantities. They literally have 15-30 of them stuffed in what used to be conference rooms.
Here's what I've witnessed thus far:
1) 90% of them are chicks under 24.
2) 60% of them are hot.
The two items above help paint the picture but are not purposeful to my argument.
3) 100% of them eat lunch together, in the office. While working.
4) 0.2% of them are the lucky souls that got to leave the office to go pick up lunch for their 30-50 coworkers. This practice allows the Big 4 employers to fully utilize their staff. They would prefer that no one ever leave the office, but for brief moments, they will allow select employees to exit the building. Upon release, these employees must only leave to quickly pickup food and return promptly.
5) 100% of them appear to live at work. When I arrive to work at 8am, they begin filtering in. Morning seems to be the only portion of the day with any flexibility. Some of them appear to have the same clothes on as the previous day and I'm fairly certain many of them shower in the corporate gym locker room. Their hair is always wet, like Kate on the television show Lost. Which happens to be a show they've never seen, because they work late into the night. To tell you the truth, I have no idea when these people leave. The latest I've ever stayed at work was 6:30 (sickening). When I did leave at 6:30, I saw two frat boys returning from their 10 minute release with a gigantic box of Chili's To-Go. Apparently dinner has the same routine as lunch. So I know they are at the building until at least 8, and I know they have time to hit the bars because some of them smell of Virginia Slims and Mojitos. Best guess is 11pm.
It is based on these observations that I started to wonder if they are a new breed of indentured servants. The definition of indentured servant is: a form of debt bondage worker. The laborer is under contract of an employer for usually three to seven years, in exchange for their transportation, food, drink, clothing, lodging and other necessities. Unlike a slave, an indentured servant is required to work only for a limited term specified in a signed contract.
Big 4 employees are not necessarily under contract, but there is an invisible contract keeping most of them employed for far too long. Normal human beings would not agree to working 70-115 hours per week, but they see the carrot dangling. They see the Partner pulling down huge figures and sitting in meetings where other executives do nothing but pretend to be busy, shake hands, and exchange millions of dollars.
In regards to their pay, it looks good on paper. They might be flaunting the fact that they make "big bucks" compared to their friends, but most of them haven't considered how much they make per hour. Consider the fact that the majority of them make $45 - 100k and work an average of 60 hours per week (over the course of a year, 100 during busy season) and you've got yourself a job paying $15 - $34 per hour. And that may even be an overstated figure. Not chump change for some, and by no means am I attempting to offend those who make less. But I know for a fact that roofers made $15 an hour in 2001 and they don't treat their employees like servants. I know this because many of them smoked massive amounts of pot during lunch and also enjoyed wearing their wife's undergarments (but that's neither here nor there).
However, there are a fortunate group of people who escaped from the Big 4 Truman Show. They call themselves "alumni". Many of them have been kind enough to provide definitions of what each of the Big 4 companies mean to them via UrbanDictionary.com:
Deloitte definitions:
1. "A modern form of prostitution where eager, young minds sign on with the most reputable "practice" (pimp) in hopes of success and fortune but end up being sold to the highest bidder while partaking only a minimal share of the profits. "Partners" (pimps) are noted for reprimanding personnel that do not perform every and all requests of the client (john).
2. "The last form of slavery in the US. This is where many young people begin careers and work 115 hours a week until they either quit or die from exhaustion. Former Deloitte employees often have scarred backs from the whip marks."
PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC) Definitions:
1. "A big 4 accounting firm which hires bright young college graduates and converts them into arrogant, stuck up, lifeless souls who are proud of the fact that they are working eighty hour weeks, despite being paid at an hourly rate lower than the average McDonalds toilet cleaner."
2. "An environment/hell, in which the term 'work-life balance' is used to convince bright, young professionals to accept jobs. Once on the other side, it becomes apprent very fast that it doesn't exist, but the majority of employees stay, because the partners continue to say they are "working" to improve 'work-life balance'."
3. "PwC - People Working Constantly"
Ernst & Young Definitions
1. Essentially a pyramid rip-off scheme Amway would be proud of, the accounting firm Ernst & Young (aka EY) stands as a shining example of why people are willing to accept communism as alternative to a market society. The EY meat grinder is powered by recent college graduates looking for a door into upper-middle management. At the top of the food chain sit the partners and senior managers who glut themselves on the labors of their staffers. Typically, the best staffers are quickly offered more palatable positions at other companies, while others grow tired of the abuse and leave. The unimpressive few that remain are eventually made partners only because they lack the emotional maturity to handle a leadership position in any other industry...
2. A stepping stone to bigger and better things. It doesn't matter where you go afterwards, because it can't get any worse.
KPMG Definitions
[Apparently KPMG employees are the least creative of the bunch because they just repeated what the other companies said.]
These are the words of abused people. They need our help. It's time to put a stop to the unfair work practices and join my Facebook Group Big 4 Accounting Chicks are Hot, Don't Abuse Them.
NEW ARTICLE 2/25/2010: The Truth About Big 4 Employees, Busy Season and Fagony
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Comments
In Germany, KPMG translates into "Kinder Prüfen Mein Geschäft", in english: "children audit my company"
It's about time.
I am a senior manager at KPMG. This article is incredibly immature.
KPMG is committed to providing work/life balance to our employees. We have gone above and beyond to encourage employees to enjoy their lives. In fact, we enforce it. A successful career is born out of a successful personal life.
Furthermore, we are an organization of all ages, genders, and walks of life. Your assertion that KPMG is primarily staffed by resources with less than three years of experience is preposterous.
I hope that in your future articles you will do the courtesy of interviewing at least one stakeholder.
Bill, you are a retard.
You must work in HR or are just an idiot. Having made it through two years of being an audit senior at KPMG I can tell you that in big cities there is little work/life balance. If you are lucky enough to get it for two months of the year you are blessed. Between busy season in the winter/early spring and pensions in the summer/early fall you are slammed with late hours and no reward most of the year.
Also the statement above about the best and brightest leaving coupled with the worst being fired is very accurate. The only people left are those that are either mediocre and work hard (aka do whatever asked), have no idea about their actual value in the market, or don't have the skills to work in a real industry and actually produce a product.
Which one of the above are you?
A little funny...:-)
Bill, you posted that comment at 8:59pm. Were you still at work?
"Furthermore", I would assume that you found this article by making some kind of search on KPMG or Big 4 on Google. Your life is so balanced that you are searching for work related items on Google at 9pm. If you're on the East coast, even worse.
Please refrain from calling your employees as people that are "staffed" or "resources". You aren't in a project planning meeting.
And "stakeholders"? I didn't know anyone held stake in Examiner.com articles other than Examiner.com and me.
You are a disappointment to your family.
well said. you sound like a survivor
Hey Bill,
Or should I call you Tobey Flenderson? You are so out of touch with reality that your reply just proves how awful these companies really are ...
"We have gone above and beyond to encourage employees to enjoy their lives. In fact, we enforce it. "
I am a former indentured servant. We called what you are describing MANDATORY FUN. You enforce some bullshit 'happy hour' where everybody works until 8pm then goes out to the bar and talks about work until midnight.
Its interesting as always the most bad comments would be from people who got fired from Big 4 for not doing their jobs or who never go jobs there or then you have to be Francine McKenna to make a living bashing Big 4 but likes to boast that she worked in all Big 4.She was not a critic till the time she was making money..Pathetic losers
from a Happy at kpmg
Ethan - Is English your first language? Because I gotta tell ya, I barely understood anything you wrote.
Dudley ,
It does happens when you don't read it back or typing very fast.. oh well "gotta tell ya" must be proper English?
All I mean to say was about the comments and articles that comes from Francine or any other Big 4 basher. Most are either from ex-employee's who were fired or just couldn't take public acct'g or who never got a job in the Big 4.
For Ex:- Francine was not a critique till she was billing the BIG 4 and from where she learned everything.
Ethan,
There is no f'n way you work for KPMG. You don't even know how to end a sentence with a period. You are the perfect example of a Big 4 worker drone. You have a false sense of pride that you 'made the cut'. You actually think that you are special for 'sticking it out' while the rest of the people you started with moved on because they 'couldn't hack it'. Meanwhile, they are out-earning you five times over while working half your hours. Honestly, I can't blame you. You almost have to maintain those beliefs if you choose to keep working there ... otherwise you'd just want to blow your brains out.
Sorry, but they asked for it. It's no surprise that accountants work long hours - everyone knows it. Don't go into that profession if you're not willing to do the work.
Daddy Deloitte does have a strong back hand!!
Prostitute or Public Accountant??
1. You work very odd hours.
2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.
3. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.
4. You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.
5. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended.
6. You are not proud of what you do.
7. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.
8. It's difficult to have a family.
9. You have no job satisfaction.
10. If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another
client.
11. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.
12. People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it.
13. Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.
14. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what
they get for the money.
15. Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or Jaguars.
16. Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to drugs
to ease the pain of it all.
17. You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if
the client is foolish enough to pay it's not your problem.
18. When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but
return looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday AM to
Friday PM).
19. You are rated on your "performance" in an excruciating ordeal.
20. Even though you get paid the big bucks, it's the client who
walks away smiling.
21. The client always thinks your "cut" of your billing rate is
higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.
22. When you deduct your "take" from your billing rate, you constantly
wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.
What a nice piece of thought leadership!!!
A
I am audit manager Big 4 and everything is true, we do not have personal live, it is not inmature it is just real, a friend past away working hard one year ago. Bill come on just open your eyes, and believe me you are not going to be partner it is just a dream for most of us.
This is all so true. Currently work at one of the big four. And it seems that some people do pride themselves on how much they work. Also the upper management encourages you to enjoy your personal life yet frown upon it when things fall behind. You start to see the "team" fade and self worth start to fade when your consistently working until at least 12 every night. You begin to gain weight because your constantly working and have no time to move. I've seen people try to eat right but when there is not time to move you will inevitably put on weight and start becoming unfit. It's a great place to start a career because of future opportunities but at what cost?
I dont think you can equate auditors to prostitues..definitely the latter has a faster of return plus enjoying it...
"I've seen people try to eat right but when there is not time to move you will inevitably put on weight and start becoming unfit."
Mr. Anonymous un-fit person, if you would have started a "Biggest Loser" challenge with a buy-in for each employee, you would see the following benefits:
-team morale will skyrocket as everyone unites to achieve a universal goal!
-the winner will receive a much-needed economic benefit to make up for the lack of bonuses!
-by being healthier, you can use your vacation days on vacation instead of for going to the doctor's office!
-healthier you = more time to work = more profits for the firm!!!
Work life balance and Jumbo Shrimp, I see a resemblance.
People who work in the Big 4 are the dumbest smart people around....
Spent several years at a Big 4. There were about 20 of us who started together at my office. Less than 6 years later there are only 3 left.
"-healthier you = more time to work = more profits for the firm!!! "
You are obviously either a partner or a lifer. LOLLERSKATES, Yes, they are good companies but please do not even bring the profits argument into the equation as an associate will not see the benefits of these profits. For example, certain of these companies have seen increased profits yet these companies have reduced the 401k contribution. And don't give me the times are tough argument because along with reducing these contributions the firms are still letting people go. Reducing costs in more ways than one.
Also your "biggest loser" argument is moot if there is no time to work out because of all the time spent working. That was the point not that some are unfit because they choose to be unfit. But because there is no allotted time to become fit.
You are obviously incorrect sir. I'm obviously an associate, and obviously your eyes have been staring at your monitor far long, since you obviously missed the obvious sarcasm of my excessive exclamatory remarks(!)
As for your fitness argument, the Biggest Loser contest encourages good nutrition, which you can practice even with a lack of time. If you dont have time to exercise, you'll still have time to diet. Substitute those french fries with celery sticks...MMMM!
Bill's life (1st comment) revolves so completely around work, that he uses terms like stakeholder in other conversation.
Also Bill, this article is meant to be a sarcastic, exaggerated joke. Sad that even when trying to be absurdly over-the-top, its close enough to the truth to tick off Big 4 senior managers like yourself.
I'm currently sitting in an audit room, working for a Big 4, and my coworker and I are laughing out loud at this. So totally true (may be a little exaggerated, but at times, very true) and this made was the highlight of our day, especially all of the comments. Wow, if you don't think this is funny and true, you're crazy!
I find the arguments in favor of public accounting on this message board to be quite fascinating. I especially like the 'you couldn't hack it' theory. It's like telling someone that they're weak because they have self-esteem and don't like to be abused or treated like a disposable commodity.
I have plenty of horror stories from my days in public accounting. There was the time that my firm changed 'work-life balance' to 'work-life quality' because, well, the first connoted too much balance and that was never going to happen. During one of the meetings I was in, a partner exclaimed 'we shouldn't forget that work comes first in work-life!' Then there was the time that I got sent to Walmart at 9pm on a Tuesday to pick up 200 bags of M&Ms in an attempt to make our client hate us less. When I got to work the next morning I was told 'don't worry, you don't have to go through and pick out the blue ones.' Um, thanks. I didn't get a masters degree and a CPA license to be digging through your stupid bags of M&Ms.
But no matter how many bad moments there were, public accounting does have its selling points. First, where else will you ever work with so many people your own age? I had a start class of 80 - all straight out of college, eager to figure out the real world and make instant friendships. Second, public accounting provides job security and raises that are typicall higher than in industry. It'll be interesting to see how the current economic situation changes this. Third, these firms are influential in the societies in which they operate. Don't say anything too harsh, lest they call your current boss and report you as a problem child.
The era of these firms may be over - I think that the current economic and generational changes will force these firms to rethink their structures and philosophies a bit or they will stop attracting the quality candidates that they have historically hired.
And on a last note, because I can't help myself: I get paid now. A LOT more than I used to. And I have time for a real life. So much extra time that I get to see the sun every day it's not hidden behind a cloud, because I leave work at a decent time. Which is good, because I have plenty of lost time to make up for.
Bill. I work for KPMG. I have no life because you took it away. Prick.
I did 21 years hard labor with KPMG and EY, leaving both firms at the partner level. Being a partner was the worst part of both tenures... so the thing that LOOKED like a carrot ended up being a stick!
Now, I'm working out of my house, serving the same clients I served at both those firms, making more money than either firm paid me, and only needing 1200 billable hours to do it. It's nice not to have someone from NY telling me what my practice in a city half-way across the country should look like. It's also nice not to have to increase my billings over last year by 25% irrespective of why last year was what it was or whether 25% increase is reachable.
The training I received was invaluable. I have to give that credit. I worked for some great mentors... none of whom are still with any of the Big 4.
Wow. Such a great article, laughing so hard here at my desk at (fill in the big 4).
F my life.
I must say that I don't think there is a single exaggeration in the article (especially the first two points, which explains why out-of-town training events always verge on the definition of orgies). I went straight into the Big4 out of college and luckily only spent two years there. Now, three years after I started, not a single person that I started with (those in my office or those that transferred in) is still there. Even those that held out the longest left within two months of being promoted to senior. But I must say that I wouldn't go back and change it. After all, if I hadn't suffered through that hell for two years, I wouldn't have quailified for the awesome job that I landed upon leaving!
I woked up this morning at 5 to deliver a stupid report to a client and a friend of mine just forward this to me. Not that I read what that ass bag from Peru sends to me but this is so true.
Just to complement and respond to the questions of those who are asking what these companies are doing in this crisis times I can respond.
THEY ARE FIRING PEOPLE AND MAKING THE ONES WHO STAY TO WORK MORE.
bill and ethan no worries, there will be plenty of "great opportunities" at the partner level once the class actions go through...thank you very much for continuing to work hard and paying me out...i really appreciate that.
W W W .accountancyage.com/accountancyage/news/2202250/lawsuit-against-pwc-granted
by the way bill/ethan before you respond do all of us a favor and do some homework...read up on the attorney that came out of retirement to take on this case...its not a fufu lawyer that was bored...
dudley's my hero...write on....
This is great I was going to start in a few months from now after college, then the date was pushed back. :p May be true about the long hours but right now, in this economy, a job is a job. It might be a carrot hanging or it might be a stick I just want the experience and the damn paycheck!
how is this funny? tell this to all those who have lost there jobs.. atleast most of you have jobs.. thanks to the BIG 4 which employees more than 400thousand worldwide..Open you eyes. My mistake and was stupid enough to read and comment on this
Want to thank everyone who read this article, whether you enjoyed it or not...I don't give a damn.
Hey Tom - Did you ever consider the fact that sweatshops employ tons of people worldwide in economies where it is difficult to gain employment? Your an f'n idiot.
Loved the article Dudley, but this comment is not good. If your hungry and have no other options you work in a sweatshop. Tell me, have you ever been on the unemployment line, gone to a foodbank to feed yourself and/or kids? Then don't call someone a f'n idiot until you do.
By "tons", I of course meant thousands.
well. if the managers and the partners were single straight male, they will only slave us more so that they can spend more time with us.
if the managers and the partners were single female, they will only slave us even more so that we can't date others and get married before them!
i've paid my dues. i was glad that kpmg laid me off last year. i didn't have to go through another busy season. i have my life back! :D
I have to say that as a non-client serving person at a Big 4, this still holds true across the board. Unfortunately in these economic times you have to deal with it, but I totally agree with everything mentioned!
"TrueStory" - I couldn't agree with you more. In bad economic times, it's very important to ignore basic human rights. That is why I also think we should employ children to stimulate the economy. All of their income would be expendible, thus increasing consumer spending.
All written here is absolutely true and the reality of working in Big Four is even worse. Slavery is a very correct word here, except slaves might be treated better than Big Four employees.
wow...crazy flashbacks....to all you guys going through another busy season, hang in there...
a couple of things i actually miss about "the firm":
- smart people. industry is full of dullards and sloths
- pto. i was getting five weeks at the firm. get 15 days now (still worth it; i work a third less on average)
while all of this is true, you can't argue with where big 4 gets you. when you leave and go look for that job in industry or at a smaller firm, watch how impressed people are with big 4 experience. many people in industry started out there, having no inclination to do big 4. too much work, scared of failing, have to move to a bigger town, etc. they look at you like some sort of mangod. think how many times you've talked to someone above your level at a client and thought dear god are you retarded? i'd say it's a safe bet that each year of exp in big 4 is the equivalent of 2 in industry or somewhere else. do the hours suck? yes. but the amount of stuff you learn is huge. and during the worst parts your superiors will remind you of how much you're learning. which i guess is supposed to comfort you that you will go far in the firm. really i just thought of it as one more thing i'd know when i quit. so stick with it for a couple years and jump into something else supervising other people.
If your working for one of the Big Four and you can read this...get your ass back to your conference room now! Oh, there's pizza, kool-aid and cookies if you're hungry. Please wash your hands before you eat.
One word, brilliant.
60% hot? are you kidding me? Time to move to Minneapolis...
As the mother of one of the 'hot chicks' who works 14-16 hr. days/7 days week (excuse me.. the weekend days are shorter!), and who waits up until my exhausted daughter drives home.. so
I can talk to her & keep her awake until she can collapse in to bed.. only to repeat the cycle in maybe 7 hours... I CAN ONLY AGREE THAT THE BIG 4 FIRMS ARE ABUSIVELY TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NEW COLLEGE GRADS AND WAIT FOR THE
DAY THAT THEIR ABUSIVE PRACTICES BECOME ILLEGAL
Hello... look at the lawsuits in Canada... HIRE
MORE PEOPLE and PLAY FAIR!!!
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